52 Ancestors Week 51: Good Deeds

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 51

The theme for Week 51 is "Good Deeds." Is there someone in your family who is known for their kindness? Maybe someone who benefited from the good deed of another? (You could also think of deeds as in land records!)

First Starbolt to stick the superhero landing wins!

    

    People doing good deeds for other people seems to be a common theme in my family tree. The last time I wrote about a good deed was back in 2020 when I talked about Giovanni Coppola, the man who had brought people to Haverhill from the Calabrian town of San Pietro a Maida. Not only did he pay for several relatives' trips to America. He was also a grocer for the Italian community there. Sufficed it to say he was a big deal in Haverhill. Well, at least as far as the Italian community goes.

    As it turns out, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree of generosity. A while back my third cousin Melina took a trip from her home in Buenos Aires to our ancestral town of San Pietro. Naturally, I thought she was just going to look up her Astorino relatives while she was there. I had helped her build her tree up to her fourth great-grandparents, Giuseppe Astorino and Marianna Sgro. I was only able to get the basics and while she was actually on the ground in Italy she managed to get more information than I ever could by just e-mailing Italy. Then she did something truly unexpected. She looked up information for me AND managed to take pictures of the actual documents!

Hello, century old document. You
look like you're in near-mint condition.

    My jaw hit the floor. Meli didn't just take photos of Astorino records.  She took photos of the following records I needed for my tree.

* The marriage of my great-grandparents Vincenzo Ferraiolo and Maria Tedesco in 1921.

* Maria Tedesco's birth record from 1900.

* Vincenzo Ferraiolo's  birth record from 1894.

* Our second great-grandfather Marco Ferraiolo's birth record from 1868.

* Her great-grandmother Caterina Ferraiolo's birth record from 1904. 

    That's a lot of information! And this isn't including the mountain of Astorino documents she obtain the same week! Not too bad, right? To say I was happy to get all this information is a bit of an understatement. I was already happy she was in Italy. She really went above and beyond for me and I'll always be thankful for her. She didn't have to do this. And yet she did!

    The reason why I'm so excited to have the actual documents is simple. Records from San Pietro a Maida from 1862 on are not online in any way. I had to e-mail the commune office for the records and they sent back notarized copies that were transcribed from the actual document. This is as close to seeing the real thing as I can get until the fine folks at Antenati decide to upload the rest of the 19th century to the website for all to see. And maybe a little into the 20th? It couldn't hurt!

Birth of Vincenzo Ferraiolo. Note that both
grandfathers are mentioned.

    I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth and ask her how she managed to get all these documents for me. I can take a wild guess, though. Meli is a very nice person and I'm sure this is how the scenario worked out:

    She likely explained to the clerk that she traveled very far and was wondering if he/she could help her look for some records. After doing that, she may have mentioned needing help finding other documents and it just grew from there.

    I think the trick was how she asked. If you're polite and ask the right questions in a government building, you're going to go far. If you're loud? Probably not.

    Presentation is everything and if you're a visitor from another country, you really have to be on your best behavior. We've all heard the stories about the tourist who carved his initials in the Roman Colosseum of all things! Oh, did that make my blood boil. The guy didn't think it was that old. Did he....not see the ruins?! I mean.... 

I digress. Back to the blog before I write a rant about that fool.

Birth of Maria Tedesco.

    As you might have guessed I was very happy Meli got this information for me. Generosity works both ways. I did something nice for her and in turn she provided me with pictures of the actual documents! This is genealogical gold right here! Meli has proven that she's good at genealogy. There's no doubt about it!

    I did wonder if she was going to get our second great-grandmother Caterina Coppola's birth record. I was going to ask her about it. But, she was leaving San Pietro when she showed me the record and honestly it might have been a moot point since I have a record of the record in a toolbox in my basement along with her sister Concetta's record. I really didn't want to push it and if someone gives you a gift you really shouldn't ask for more.

    You really should be modest when someone gives you genealogical gold like this. It would make it more likely that people would help you out in the future. Should I have asked for Caterina's details? Nah. Meli did enough for me. She got her documents. She got mine. She took pictures at the town cemetery. She rocks. It's really that simple. And to think this all started when the Boston Celtics won the NBA finals in June. Maybe that was a sign? I'm taking it as such!

    As you can see good deeds happen a lot when you're on your genealogical adventure. Like I said before. She didn't have to go through all the trouble. And yet she did. I had to thank her over and over again. Over on WikiTree it's pretty common for people to help others out. And with all the vitriol elsewhere on the Internet (And lord knows there's a ton of it), it's refreshing to have a cousin help another cousin out despite not seeing each other face to face. Perhaps that'll happen some day. Until then I just have to thank Meli for all of her hard work. She definitely made the second half of 2024 memorable. What's next? Who can say, true believers? But, you know....like the man himself once said. "I guess one person can make a difference. 'Nuff said."

See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 50: Chosen Family

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 50

The theme for Week 50 is "Chosen Family." Family isn't just those you are genetically related to. What about the special family friends who become "Aunt" and "Uncle"? Who was chosen to be part of your family?

Italian or Italian by association.

    I can't believe it's been four years since the last time I wrote about a chosen family member or two. Back in 2020, I wrote about the couple who used to take care of my brother and I when we were little. Their names were Peter and Mary Matorian. They were a great Armenian couple who often took my brother and I shopping (Or as Pete called it "The Cleaners". I think you can figure out why.) among other things. Mary was a great cook and it's honestly a wonder we didn't gain weight from eating her cookies that were like 90% lard. They were an amazing couple and I miss them dearly. However, they were far from the only chosen family member we had!

    Longtime readers of the blog will remember me writing about the marina I went to with my family every summer growing up. It was a lot of fun and this week I thought I'd share some memories and stories about some of the people there who definitely made every summer more enjoyable than the last!

Formally known as "Dawn Mari-Na".

        I've already already written about Marina Schell, the woman who got me into writing and helped me sort out the first version of my Starbolts story. She was an avid comic reader like me and we'd spend a while talking about various comic book characters and the latest movie/television show. She was a huge fan of Spider-Man. So, you know I made friends with her very easily!

    Marina and her husband Peter were just two members of the group my parents dubbed "The Ancient Mariners". Though, that title didn't really catch on until maybe the early 2000s for obvious reasons.

  The ancient mariners were a fun group. Everyone was from various towns in and around the Merrimack Valley.  We'd all go fishing together either at the mouth of the Merrimack or we'd take to the high seas. Though, I think we've only ever gone as far east as the Isle of Shoals and maybe Maine if the weather was nice. Sometimes we'd all be in the same boat and sometimes we'd even tie our boats together and make a raft in the middle of the ocean. That was fun to do. Though, I can imagine it was an interesting sight for passing boaters.

    Now, you might be wondering "Chris, didn't you have anyone around your age to hang around with?" I did. There were always children at the marina when I was growing up. These were the sons and daughters of the "ancient mariners". Wow. Way to make it sound epic. My earliest memories were of two kids named Tara and and Eddie whose parents had a boat across the dock from us. They moved away early on so I don't know what happened to them. I don't even know if they continued boating and to date I haven't been able to find them. There were other children, too. But, they were around my brother's age and of course he spent time with them and they had their own adventures cruising around the river and going to the arcade at Salisbury Beach.

What a couple of troublemakers.

    When Tara and Eddie moved away, I wasn't alone for long. I was quickly introduced to my friend Matthew who was the son of my parents' friends Bob and Edie Jones. They had a boat called "Mi Casa" and Matthew and I spent a lot of time there.....mainly because his television was able to pick up the signal better than ours. We often used their set to either play various Sega or Nintendo games or watch a movie. That wasn't our fault. Our boat was docked at the outer docks and the Mi Casa was docked  a little bit closer to land. It was probably for the best because we watched a LOT of  "R" rated movies. 

    Of course that wasn't the only thing we did.

    Matt and I wouldn't laze about the boat all day. This was the late '80s and early to mid 1990s. We were outside a lot and when we were outside we got into plenty of trouble. I remember getting some fish heads from various other boaters to put in Matthew's crab traps. We uhh..."accidentally" left one of the heads out of the traps and left it on the dock once. You can imagine the smell. It stunk from the top of the dock to where my boat was.  At least we got a lot of river crabs? Right? Right?! Don't worry. We released them back into the wild.

    The funny thing is we never really got in trouble for any of the things we did. I guess our parents thought Matthew and I were just being kids and that's a fair point. We were just goofing around and the fish thing was an accident. We still had a great time.

    The two of us also often went across the river to Newburyport to buy comics and explore the flea market. I swear that was our go-to spot for thrift. I found some cool stuff there and came home with various old toys and even some small Lego sets. 

Less obvious troublemakers.

    Accompanying us on our trips every once in a while was the son of Sam and Charlene Fragala. His name was Ryan and he had two older siblings who were more my brothers' friends than mine. So, naturally we hit it off. 

    Ryan is like the polar opposite of Matthew. He didn't get any trouble at all really. In fact, most of our adventures involved fishing and hanging out.  His father Sam on the other hand was the one who'd always pinch my cheeks whenever he saw me. It wasn't all bad. 

    His mom made the best brownies ever. So, sometimes you have to suffer before having a treat. That's life, I guess. Or maybe a little Pavlovian. I don't know. It didn't matter as long as we got some brownies. I just hope Ryan got the recipe written down! 

     Like me Ryan is half-Italian. His mother's side is Irish. So, Ryan and I connected over the usual Italian stuff and how our fathers had the same attitude on life.  The Fragalas came from Sicily and I've yet to figure out where in Sicily they came from. When I asked Sam about it he said he wasn't sure. He thinks his grandfather came from Palermo. More research is clearly needed.

Sam on the far left with Carl, Al and my dad.
The Grumpy Old Italian Men.

   Boating season wasn't the only time we ever saw our ancient mariner friends or their kids. Every once in a while they came over our house during the off season. Usually it was for Christmas Eve or a random gathering. I think we even did New Year's Eve at the Fragalas' house once.

    Sometimes, I even went to Matt's house and watch those "R" rated movies properly without any static and interference. We would also play various video games. The Sega games stayed at my house, though. He and a few other friends had both Sega and Nintendo games. Thanks to him I got to play many of the Nintendo classics like Mario and Zelda.  The console war was no joke. Ironically, now you can play both Sega and classic Nintendo games on current consoles like the Nintendo Switch. I guess Sega lost the war.

    I digress. Matt and Ryan along with their parents were chosen family. They were like cousins to me and their parents were like aunts and uncles. Uncle Sam still punches my cheeks like it was 1993, by the way. He hasn't lost his touch!  I'm just glad he never did it when I had my wisdom teeth removed.

    These days both Matt and Ryan are married with children of their own and every once in a while I get together with both of them every chance I get. Sadly, our adventures aren't nearly as entertaining as they once were.  That doesn't mean we've forgotten how to party. They were and still are good friends. Our lives may have changed and we have grown up. But, we'll always remember the good times we had at the marina under the ever watchful eyes of the ancient mariners. 

See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 49: Handed Down

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 49

The theme for Week 49 is "Handed Down." Do you have something that has been handed down to you, whether it's an item, a story, or even a name? This week is a good time to write about it!

   I said it before and I'll say it again. My house is like a museum. We have a ton of things here from both sides of the family and every item we have has a story behind it. What our ancestors leave behind is something memorable to them and to preserve the memories they pass it down to the next generation. Sometimes it's a sword like the one I talked about in this blog from 2020. Other times it's a VHS copy of "Golf's Funniest Moments" your grandfather left you. Look. Not everything handed down by our ancestors are going to be winners.

    Don't get me wrong. We have some literal gold here. I've talked at great length about the swords, the canes, the coffee table, the clocks and even a pair of candlesticks. That stuff is great. But, so are the stories that have been told. Don't forget those can be handed down from generation to generation along with various belongings. You always have to be careful with them, though. Some stories are true and some can turn out to be false.

Nicolina, Vincenzo and Cathie

   When my parents and I visited my great-aunt Nicolina in 2004, she had a lot of stories to tell us. Some stories backed up the stories my grandmother Ollie and my father told me back in the day. This included the story of when everyone went to Switzerland to attend my cousin Caterina's wedding in 1969. It's always good to have someone back up a story or two and thankfully people have been honest about the tales they've told.  They didn't need to be fact-checked or anything and I'm very grateful for that. I just wish I got the photographic evidence of the wedding in Switzerland a lot sooner. My grandmother would have loved to have seen the group picture she was in!

    Nicolina handed down a couple other stories during that stay. One of them was likely to be true given the time period. The other seemed a little sketchy. I'll share both of the stories with you all and at the end we can decide which one was true and which one isn't. Sound good? Well, you made it this far. So, you can stick around for the rest of the ride.

Vincenzo and Maria

    When Nicolina and my grandfather Marco were little, they didn't speak much English. They were both born in San Pietro a Maida in the 1920s and came to Haverhill with their mother Maria Tedesco in 1929.  I naturally wanted to learn everything I could about her since Nicolina was the only one around who actually knew her. 

    She told me all she could about her mother and handed down some stories about her and growing up in Haverhill in the 1930s. Nicolina and Marco's mother was a kind woman from what I've been told. Everyone was often taken aback by her looks, too. I guess Vincenzo had an eye for beauty, huh?

    Anyway, her parents went out and left Marco and Nicolina to their own devices. I think they had a babysitter. I'm not sure. I would hope they did! I think a family friend might have watched the two while they were out. Marco and Nicolina didn't have much other than a few games to play and a few friends to play with in the neighborhood. One of Haverhill's finest saw the kids playing in the yard and watched them as they went back into the house. A few minutes later the cop knocked on their door. 

    She and Marco didn't know what to do. They realized he was a policeman judging by the uniform. They didn't know if they did something wrong or what. All they did was play in the yard and that was it. As far as Nicolina and Marco were concerned they were innocent. The cop continued to knock while the kids were freaking out. After several knocks, Nicolina finally answered the door since the person who was watching them was napping. How she slept through the knocking is beyond me.

    The officer asked where their parents were and Nicolina just talked to him in Italian. I have no idea what she said. But, the cop was so startled that he backed off and ran away. In hindsight, I guess the cop didn't know what neighborhood he was in or didn't know how to react to two Italian kids. Either way, I think he learned a valuable lesson. Don't follow random kids to their house and knock on their door! 

    Right out of the gate this next story Nicolina handed down is going to seem less than plausible because we've heard it a million times in genealogy circles. It doesn't matter where you come from. Someone somewhere will always say "My family descended from royalty."

    While that's certainly true for many people (Particularly those of English descent), it seems really unlikely for someone of Italian descent to say "Yeah. We descend from the Prince of the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies". I think you can see where this is going.

    My great-aunt told me that the Ferraiolo line descended from royalty and that we had a castle in the San Pietro a Maida area or something. I asked her a bit more about it but she said she didn't know all of the details. So, all I could do was smile and nod. What else could I do? It was 2004. I didn't have access to the Internet. 

    I think it's safe to say that the first story is true. It seems the most plausible because cops will randomly patrol neighborhoods immigrants lived in. I'm just glad the cop had the sense to walk away after hearing the kids talk. He must have filled out an interesting report at the station. I guess the man was just surprised that the kids were seemingly home alone when they obviously weren't.

    
    The story about being connected to Italian royalty was easily disproven once I started doing genealogy. Actually, no. It was disproven once I had access to the Internet  and looked up San Pietro a Maida. I didn't find a castle anywhere in the vicinity. I might still be connected to royalty on my father's side. However, it seems unlikely. For now it's best to take that story with a grain of salt the size of Pluto.

    At least most of the stories Nicolina told us turned out to be true. She told us about the Astorinos and how they moved to Argentina. The only thing is she made it sound like many of Vincenzo's sisters went to Buenos Aires when it was really just Caterina. I couldn't blame her for that mistake. She was 81 years old at that point and a lot of things get jumbled in the old noggin. She was still sharp. Don't get me wrong. But, mistakes happen and when they do you just smile and nod.

    It was a fantastic visit and I don't regret seeing her and her little yappy dog. She may have missed a few details here and there. At least she handed down some stories that later got strengthened down the road and that's what's important. I like to think that Nicolina handed down a rough draft or an outline of how things played out. Over time the actual story gets filled in and more details emerge. You should still be careful. You never know which stories are true and which ones aren't unless you do a genealogical deep dive into the records or get information backed up by other sources.

See ya next time!

P.S. What AM I going to do with that VHS tape? It's not like I have a device to play it on....

52 Ancestors Week 48: Very Funny

From me Week 48: Everyone has a funny story in their family history. Share one that’d be great for opening night at the Apollo theater. Or at least for Comedy Central. What funny stories do you have?

Live from New Hampshire…..

My mother uses the phrase “There’s never a dull moment in this house” whenever something funny or unexpected happens. The truth is we always had a good laugh whenever there was a family gathering of some sort. Someone would always make a comment or something so silly would happen that everyone talks about it for years after the event. I suppose that’s to be expected. When you have a large number of people together, the jokes run wild and believe it or not alcohol usually isn’t involved!

A few years ago I wrote a blog about my grandfather Robert’s epic  birthday party. While that was fun and exciting, I don’t think it holds a candle to the party we held for him just a few days earlier.

Yes, we threw him two parties! This was the one he actually knew about.  My mother and her siblings wanted to have a get together with just family at our house and then have the main event the following Saturday. The trick was keeping it a secret until that day.

The party at our house was held on June 6th, 2013, the day after  my grandfather’s actual birthday. He had just turned ninety and was as sharp ever. When we picked him up at the airport, I asked him how he was doing and he said his usual “ Eh. Not bad for an old man.” Remind me to use that line. It’s pure gold. He always said stuff like that.  Anyway, he stayed at my house for both parties. So, we had to keep the details a state secret and trust me when I say keeping a secret from him was a full time job.

Anyway, the party was a normal family event. Family came from all over and I spent most of my time with my cousins Jen, Kristyn and Ryan.  My uncle Bob flew in from Canada along with his son, Robbie.  Robbie’s sister Katelyn came from Arizona and My uncle Brian flew in from Idaho. The only people missing were my brother and his family and my cousin Brianna.

My brother still sort of took part in the festivities. We had my brother call the house on FaceTime and my grandfather got to see my brother’s kids that way. It’s so cool that he got to see many of his great-grandchildren during the trip!

For dinner we had lobster and that was the first hint of what was to come. Lobsters are a staple cuisine for us hearty New Englanders. We’ll eat them in sauce, in rolls and just plain boiled. We elected to have them boiled because that’s what my grandfather wanted. Grandpa Bob was no stranger to Red Lobster, the famous restaurant chain. Since he lived in Florida at the time it was hard for him to get decent lobsters down there. Lobsters found in New England waters are always going to be fresh.

Watch the old pro.

Freshness doesn’t always mean everything. Lobsters are messy and depending on the age their shells can be either hard or soft. Luckily the lobsters we had that night were on the soft side. I was cracking mine open like a pro. Yeah, right. My lobster had quite a bit of juice and I accidentally got my cousin Kristyn more than once. Whoops.  It wasn’t my fault! All of the grandkids were relegated to the kitchen table while my grandfather and everyone else was in the dining room eating their lobsters.

I apologized to Kristyn and before she could answer we heard a loud “pop” from the dining room followed by a lot of laughter.  We went to the dining room and everyone was laughing and pointing at something on the ceiling. I looked up and saw a lobster juice stain.

The spot will never leave.

Apparently, my uncle Brian was trying to carefully take apart the claw when suddenly juice squirted upwards and got onto the ceiling. That’s not all. My mom, a couple of my aunts and a couple other people got sprayed by the juice.

No one was mad or anything. It was just so random and no one could blame Brian since it had been a long time since he had lobster. The real funny thing is that the stain is still there and nothing we could do clean up te stain. Not even the power of OXY-Clean. 

To this day everyone still talks about the spot on the ceiling…..mainly because it’s still there. Talk about a conversation starter. We’ve had many parties in my house over the years and I don’t think we’ve ever had any reminders lasting as long as the lobster stain from the June of 2013. 

We seriously tried our best to clean it up. But, nothing worked. Even painting it didn’t help. I wonder if even Billy Mayes could have gotten it out. Who knows? At least we have memories that will last a lifetime . That and pictures! 

The party was a success and for the days leading up to the surprise party I was sending messages on Facebook to my cousins as they wanted to know what Papa was up to. He…uhh….was watching golf with the television muted for some reason. Hey. When you turn 90 you can watch television however you want!

Funny moments serve to remind us of the good times we all share together. Sometimes it’s a blink or you’ll miss it moment when lobster juice gets on the ceiling! Sometimes it’s other moments. Regardless of what it is, it’s important to laugh and have a good time with family and friends. You never know what will happen in the years after that moment. So cherish the funny moments and write them down! They will never come again! See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 47: Random Number

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 47

The theme for Week 47 is "Random Number." This is a fun exercise -- pick a random number between 1 and 100. Then, either take a list of everyone in your tree and scroll down to that number or print out an ancestor chart and pick the person in that number slot. (You might need to go to a second chart if you picked a big number!) Then write a little bit about that person.

RNGs are why so many people put in so many hours in
role- playing games.

  Oh, I love random number generators. He said, sarcastically. If you’ve played role-playing games like Pokemon you’ll quickly find that numbers play an important role in stats and power levels. This is why I like to play for fun and why I likely won’t be going to the Nintendo World Championships any time soon. Anyway, I assigned my ancestors a number like Amy suggested and got 15 in the random number generator I found on Google. Lucky number 15 is…          

Marco, Caterina and 
Adriana.

My second great-grandmother, Caterina Coppola! Whew. It’s a good thing the random number generator picked her and not someone I know little about. That could have been awkward and made for a very short blog entry! Anyway, let’s talk about Caterina. The reason why I know so much about her is simply because my cousin, who is also named Caterina, told me all about her.

She was born in San Pietro a Maida in 1870 to Paolo Coppola and Rosa Suverato. Growing up, I knew a little bit about her life. I knew her brother Paolo and sister Concetta had moved to Haverhill, obviously. The families stayed in touch for a number of years thanks to my grandfather, Marco. 

That was just about all I knew about the lady until I started talking to my cousin Caterina. Naturally, my great-aunt Nicolina told me bits and pieces as well. But, it was Caterina whole told me the most stories since they were in close proximity to one another. Makes sense considering Nicolina, like Marco, was living in America.

Right off the bat Caterina told me that her grandmother was a nice lady and was a generous sort. She was kind and was very much a typical Italian grandmother. For this reason alone she reminded me of my grandmother Ollie who was also kind to a fault. Of course she likely had to be firm when she needed to be because she had over a dozen children. Sadly, Caterina only knew of seven  children she had with her husband, Marco.

Caterina’s mom, Concetta

That was a bit surprising to me as I only knew about my great-grandfather Vincenzo and maybe two or three of his siblings.  My great-aunt was actually named after her uncle Nicola who died trying to save the boyfriend of one of his sisters from drowning! I’m sure Caterina appreciated that. 

While she was growing up, Caterina was often at her grandmother’ss house in San Pietro. It was there that she often spoke fondly of her brother Paolo, the detective and her sister Concetta who had all long since moved to Haverhill when Caterina came around and had kept in touch with their sister over the years. Part of me wonders if anyone saved letters or any other correspondence. I would give almost anything to see them! Perhaps someone did. I can only hope.

Caterina also told me about how her grandmother’s cousin Maria often visited.

 I can only imagine the stories being told to Caterina  at such a young age. It must have been a great experience! Maria’s son Lorenzo Astorino married Caterina’s daughter, Caterina and I am sure that the two bonded over the fact that their children lived so far away. The Astorinios moved to Buenos Aires and Caterina herself had family in Haverhill.

Pic taken by Meli Astorino.

In her later years, Caterina developed eye issues and lived with her granddaughter and her family for a number of years. From what I understand she became legally blind and needed help getting around. My cousin naturally helped her grandmother out and took care of her just as her grandmother did when she was little. Talk about going full circle!

Caterina passed away in the December of 1962 and to this day my cousin makes it a point to visit her grave whenever she returns to San Pietro. She often says a prayer and part of me wonders if she mentions me, the great-grandson of Caterina’s son Vincenzo. It might be wishful thinking. You never know!

 I’m sure she watches over her descendants from the great beyond, she likely knows all about me, Melina and her other descendants. It’s nice to think about.

I still have a few unanswered questions about my second great-grandmother. I want to know how we got her birth record. My cousin thinks it might have been for a passport or something. There are a few other odds and ends. I’m just glad Caterina is around to help me learn more about my second great-grandmother and the rest of the Coppolas!

See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 46: Cultural Tradition

From Amy Johnson Crow:  Week 46

The theme for Week 46 is "Cultural Tradition." What is a cultural tradition in your family? It could be ethnicity-based, could also be cultural in terms of geography. You could also think of "culture" in terms of the arts. Feel free to be creative!

Oh, hi expensive Christmas tree ornaments! Beware of the cat!

    Where has the time gone? It's already November and the holidays are upon us. They defrosted Mariah Carey and her holiday song is now playing in every Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot and other big box stores all over the United States. That's fine, though. The holidays are a great time to talk about the cultural traditions your family has and as someone with Italian heritage, I have my fair share of traditions. 

    In the blog, I've often talked about the amazing Christmas eve parties my family would host every year for as long as I can remember. But, what you might not know is how the parties all got their start in the first place. Follow along as I tell you all the tale of how the Feast of the Seven Fishes evolved into an annual Christmas event that was not to be missed!

My grandfather Marco and Cammy

    The Feast of the Seven Fishes is an Italian-American celebration of Christmas Eve and as the name implies fish is normally served as the main meal. That's very important. As Catholics, we abstain from eating meat until the feast of Christmas Day.

    In southern Italy, the tradition is called "La Vigila" or "The Vigiil". This celebration commemorates the wait or "the Vigilia di Natale" for the midnight birth of the baby Jesus.  The tradition of eating fish on that day dates from the Roman Catholic tradition of abstaining from meat on the eve of a feast day. As a result, Catholics celebrating this event would eat fish fried in oil.  There wouldn't be any variation of poultry, cow, lamb or pig.

    It's currently unclear where the "seven fishes" part of the tradition came from. However, we normally served haddock, shrimp, mussels, fried clams and of course squid prepared in at least five different ways at our house. At least!! The thing is no one actually adhered to the "seven fish" rule. You can have as much fish as you want. It just had to be on the menu!

    There has been some serious thought about the issue. Many people feel that the "seven fishes" represents the seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church or even the seven hills of Rome. It's hard to say because every Italian family has their own take on why exactly seven fishes are served. There's no real agreement and honestly you're not going to get Catholics to agree on anything....especially the Italians.  I wonder if anyone bothered to tell the cook that shrimp, squid and clams weren't technically fish, either. Uhh....yeah. I wouldn't want to tell the cook, either. I don't want to be hit by a rolling pin.

How it all started.

    When my grandfather Marco came to America, he of course brought the tradition with him. Italians in Haverhill attended midnight mass at Saint Rita's Parish in Haverhill and wouldn't leave until after midnight on Christmas Day. 

I'm not sure if my grandmother attended midnight mass. However, he and grandma Ollie would have the feast at their house with their friends and family before church.

    As you can imagine everyone was over their house for the feast. Ollie's sisters would have parties at their houses as well. I'm not sure what was served at those dinners. My mom remembered one Christmas feast where Marco brought eel to the dinner. As you can imagine, it did not go over very well.

    You know, they could have just served it on rice and wrapped seaweed around it. I'm just putting that out there. There's nothing wrong with a little unagi every now and then. Then again, would you eat the eels that were swimming around the Merrimack river? Ick. Probably not. I've seen them. There's not much meat on those little sea snakes. Though, a little wasabi and soy sauce might make them taste a little better.

    As time went by people in my parents' extended family were also invited to the parties. There was a Christmas Eve party where my great-grandmother Clara Laplante said that she didn't like squid. But, she loved calamari. That just makes me laugh because calamari IS squid! I don't think anyone was upset about the comment. It just made for a funny story and for ages the funniest stories usually happened at one of the Christmas eve parties.

    When grandpa Marco passed away in 1983, my parents took over the hosting duties and had been doing it ever since. We would pick up my grandmother and have her stay at our house over the holiday. The rest as they say is history. Family history!

Nana, my mom, two of her sisters and 
Grandpa Bob.

      So, that's how the Christmas eve parties evolved from the Feast of the Seven fishes. You take one Catholic celebration and it turns into a big dinner where everyone is invited! The tradition still continues to this day even though many people who used to attend the events are either no longer with us or have long since moved away.

    At least the memories of the parties are still there and that's what matters. Well, the memories and the pictures at least. Lord knows we have plenty of both. And that's a good thing. Some cultural traditions like this are worth having because in the end everyone can participate and nothing brings people closer together than food. 

    It just amazes me how a Christmas tradition brought over from Italy became a Christmas party. When you grow up like I did you don't really think about the traditions of your family all that much. You just roll with the punches, get hugs and hopefully get that twenty dollar bill from your grandparents. That's just how it was. I honestly had no idea it had its roots in Catholic beliefs until recently. I knew about the Feast of the Seven Fishes for sure. But, I never understood the implications. Now I do and it doesn't seem too bad now that I think about it. It's just amazing to me how a religious feast can turn into a big party at the end of the night. That's a cool tradition for sure!

See ya next time!

Just tucked into the corner. Send help!

52 Ancestors Week 45: Colorful

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 45

The theme for Week 45 is "Colorful." Colorful as in an artist or colorful as in an interesting personality? You decide!

Taste the fractal rainbow

    In my family tree I have no shortage of people who had interesting personalities. These range from my grandfather Marco Ferraiolo (who also painted by the way) to my second great-grandfather, Joseph Laplante. Just think some of their personality traits were passed down through the generations. I know that's not how DNA works. But, it's fun to think about the reason why you like to write or draw something. Direct ancestors aren't the only colorful people hanging around the tree, though. My grandmother Ollie's sisters were colorful and one great-aunt in particular was like the Energizer Bunny. She just kept going and going and going!

Auntie Louise!

    My great-aunt Louise Carrabs was definitely a colorful person. I hinted at her personality many times before in this blog. I think I've told everyone the story of how we all went to Foxwoods Casino shortly after the death of my grandmother, Ollie. That was a fun trip and it only skimmed the surface of the kind of person she was.

    To recap, we all went to the casino and on the way to the building she noticed that I was feeling a bit down. I mean my grandmother had passed away and my other grandmother Natalie wasn't doing so well at that point herself. The early 2000s are honestly a blur to me.

    Anyway, she told me that if anyone asked any questions about why I was hanging around her at the slot machines she said "Tell them you're my grandson and today's your birthday." I laughed so hard at that the people walking by must have thought we were crazy. Eh....maybe we were! That was when I knew we were going to have an amazing time!

    One of the funniest moments about that trip was when we lost her in Foxwoods for a little bit. I had gone to the restroom and when I came back she was nowhere to be found. I quickly found my parents and we looked all over for her. There were a ton of little old ladies and it was hard to find her in the crowd. Eventually, we did find her playing slots in another part of the casino we hadn't checked. Her reaction was priceless. She said "What? I was here the whole time!". We had a good laugh!

    That was only a little preview of what Aunt Louise was like. Like my grandma Ollie she lived in Haverhill and out of all the five Carrabs sisters she was clearly the funniest. Ollie was the caring hostess. Josie was the cook. Ellie was the smart one. I wish I could remember their oldest sister, Jennie. She was pretty cool from what I've been told! 

The little old Italian ladies!

     We're not here to talk about Jennie, though. No. Auntie Louise was definitely more than just a surrogate grandmother to me after my grandmother passed away. 

    She was a great cook and would often start cooking for get-togethers very early. I remember she used to make these little mini cakes with chocolate frosting on them that was covered with shaved coconuts. She called them "icicles" for some reason and they were just so good. But, I think she trolled me when she said how they were made. After I had one I asked her how they were made and she just smirked at me and said the chocolate frosting was just Hershey's syrup. I laughed so hard.

    I couldn't be upset with her. She was brutally honest about how she made the food she prepared. I kind of suspected the chocolate came from a tube. But, I never wanted to outright ask her "Hey, Auntie Louise. This is just Hershey's syrup isn't it?". Yeah. You don't say that to an Italian woman unless you want to get smacked upside the head or with a rolling pin. Rolling pins were reserved for problematic cases, I'm sure. At least she made original Italian cookies to make up for the times she used Hershey's chocolate syrup. That more than made up for everything!

    

Louise and her son, Joe

    In short, Louise was probably the funniest little old Italian lady you'd ever meet in your life. Sure Ollie had a few zingers in her time. But, Louise always seemed to take it to the next level with her funny remarks. I don't know if that ever got her in trouble with her parents. But, I'm sure they appreciated her sense of humor. It's something that was also passed down to her sons, Joe and Dennis.

    Louise was a fixture at the Christmas eve parties and was always smiling, cracking jokes and telling stories. But, here's the thing. Her jokes were never mean spirited. Like my grandmother, she'd have gladly given you the shirt off of her back....and then tell you how much she paid for it. Kidding! Maybe....

   She was also similar to Ollie in that she'd host parties in her backyard and would often hold court with anyone who wanted to hear her stories. She'd have family from Everett and Melrose over from time to time and it got to the point where even her uncle Rocco's grandchildren would visit her! I think one of them drove around with her more than a few times. They never did say where they went, though. I think she just took her shopping.

    So, while Aunt Louise was very colorful she was also incredibly kind. All of my grandmother's sisters were like that. But, there was just something really special about Louise. It might have just been her sense of humor and her positive outlook on life. Whenever something bad happens, I often think about how she'd react and tell people what to do in those bad times. She'd find a positive spin on things and tell people that tomorrow always had sunny blue skies. I think we need to remember that whenever we face the darkness.

See ya next time!