52 Ancestors Week 34: Characters

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Characters — there's at least one in every family. Who in your family could be described as a character, someone who marches to the beat of their own drum? Or maybe you have an actor or writer in the family? Share their story this week

I STILL probably play way too much "Super Smash Bros".

    

    When the topic of "characters" came up last year, I wrote about someone who I've known since I was a kid. The blog was about my family friend, Alfred Coppola. He was definitely a character. Come on. He gave me twenty-one one dollar bills for my twenty-first birthday! Who doesn't look at that and just laugh?! There are a number of people in my life who were like that and I'd like to write a blog about all of them. But, we'd be here a while and I do like to keep these blogs short! You can read all about Alfred and the Salami Club here.

Marco and Cammie!

    This year, we're going to switch it up a bit because character doesn't just mean someone who's a joy to be around. Character, especially good character, can be a trait someone has which makes them a good person. As it turns out, my grandfather Marco had that in spades because he and my grandmother Ollie dared to defy societal norms in an age where the Civil Rights movement in America was in its infancy.

    For many years, my grandfather would invite a man named Charles Haigh into his home. Charles, as you might have guessed, was an African-American man. I haven't had much luck finding information about Charles. All that I know about him came from my father who clearly remembers him as he grew up around him.

    My father was never sure where his father met Charles. I assume they met at work. He had to have lived somewhere in the Merrimack valley. Where? I'll have to do some more digging because I would definitely like to find him. Genealogy isn't just about finding your direct ancestors after all. It's about finding your ancestors friends and neighbors, too. This is known as "The Fan Club" and Charles was definitely a member of that club!

    I think I'm getting ahead of myself because some context definitely matters. Marco, Ollie, my father and Charles all lived in Haverhill, Massachusetts. During the 1950s and 1960s, segregation occurred all over the United States. Even in Haverhill. It should also be noted that during that time Italians weren't considered white, either. Did the two families find some common ground and unite? It certainly seems that way. Or was this just one big coincidence?

    Regardless of intent, Grandpa Marco proved that he had great character and it was a trait passed down to my father and to my brother and I. Marco and Ollie were definitely progressive for their time and it's something I even noticed about my grandmother while I was growing up because she never had a mean word to say about anyone regardless of who they were or where they came from. I just wish I could remember Marco. =(

    What about my mother's side? Surely there are some great character traits from the Hamel and Felker clans, right? 

   

    It honestly goes without saying that my other grandparents were people of great character, too. Robert Hamel and Natalie Felker  were two of the most generous people I ever knew in my life. As my brother put it, grandpa Hamel was basically the model for what a grandfather should be. He never raised a voice to us or at his eight other grandchildren even though we probably got a little rowdy. 

   Their generous spirit extended out from the family and were always nice to friends regardless of where they came from. Sound familiar? I suppose this could be attributed to my grandfather's time in World War II where he saw action in Europe and even went to Japan in the post-war era. He saw how people lived. Not soldiers. People. And that probably had an effect on him.

Lookin' dapper!

    Not to be outdone, my grandmother was pretty amazing, too! She was the type of grandmother who cared about everyone. EVERYONE. Sometimes I swore she was a second Italian grandmother! She would knit sweaters for all of the grandchildren. We'd all get one. Every one of us. There was no escaping it regardless of age. From six to sixteen you were getting a Felker sweater. There was no getting away from it. And it wasn't just sweaters she made! She would make afghans and everything else you'd need. My mother's linen closet is full of blankets she made. It's really amazing! And yes I totally made forts out of them on cold New Hampshire nights!

    Natalie, like my grandfather, was also equally progressive. She didn't judge anyone and let people live their lives. They were both not shy about giving advice either whenever I had a bad day at school and I told them about what was going on. My other grandmother, too. They were just really good people and great role models to be around. Nothing else needs to be said.

    So, there you have it. My grandparents were progressive people who let everyone into their homes and were people who quite literally gave you the shirt they personally made or gave good advice. That shows what kind of people they were and by extension it shows who their parents were. Good character is often a product of a good environment. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it comes about when you see bad things happen and you want to do better. Regardless, they were great people of great character and I like to think it's been passed down through the generations. You never know. People who have kindness in their hearts all the time are the best people to be around and I think these stories definitely reflect their good character.

    How do you know for sure if they had good character? Well, stories like these help you decide for yourself if they did or not. That's why it's always a good idea to talk to your parents or relatives about your ancestors. This way you get to find out more than just the name, dates and places. The people you put on your favorite genealogy software are more then just stats. They were people and they will have faults and foibles despite the character they portray. Kindness goes a long way and these just small examples of the kind of character my grandparents had!