52 Ancestors Week 8: Courting

 From Amy Johnson Crow: The Week 8 theme is "Courting." Is it courting as in the law or courting as in romance? You decide!

What's 12.7 miles? A brisk run according to some people.

   "Courting Distance" is a term many genealogists use to describe how far "person a" is from "person b" to make a relationship seem plausible. The time period in which they lived in is also a factor. A guy living in Boston in 1780 wouldn't be dating someone living in Savannah, Georgia at the same time. Not unless they had a really, really fast horse. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. However, it just wasn't very common. Especially in those days. As time went by, relationships like that began to work and now we have dating apps! The mileage there will vary!

     This week's blog is about two people who didn't kiss on the dance floor at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance in November of 1955. In fact, they were married and had three kids by that historic date! They also didn't have dating apps or any other mode of communication aside from the usual letters and phone calls. This is the story of a match made on Plum Island in the 1940s. This is the story of when Natalie met Robert.

Talk about skating your way
into someone's heart.

    It all began on Plum Island in the early 1940s. In those days, the island was known for its amusement centers, ice cream parlors, restaurants and beach houses overlooking the Merrimack river and the Atlantic Ocean. The houses still stand today and they are a stone's throw away from the beach where one could escape the scorching summer heat and hunt for clams.

Three of those people were my great-grandparents, Alfred Hamel, Austin Felker and his wife, Henrietta. My great-grandparents often used their houses as retreats and as a chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life in their respective communities of Newburyport and Haverhill, a city a little over twelve miles away from Plum Island. 

    Destiny eventually brought the Hamels, the Felkers and their children to a skating rink at the center of the island's amusement complex. It was there that tall, lanky Robert Hamel caught a glimpse of Haverhill native, Natalie Felker. She was likely having a good time with her brothers and sisters and was unaware of the turn her life would take. It was just one day at the skating rink. What could possible happen? A lot. Two lives would be forever changed.

    I don't remember either of my grandparents telling me who saw who first. At this point, I've always pictured my grandfather calmly walking over to Natalie and introducing himself. Or skating over. There's no way he would have done any tricks to impress her. Then again he might have. Nah. I can't see him doing a twirl or anything. Though, that would have been SO cool. He certainly was able to. I mean he had serious height.

Epic pipe is epic.

    After the initial introductions, the couple agreed to start dating. Distance in those days weren't that big of a deal because cars had been around for a few decades at that point. Instead of driving to and from Haverhill, my grandfather elected to take the bus to meet his new sweetheart up the river. Oh, I wish I didn't have to make that joke. Haha!

    At the time, my grandfather was living in Newburyport and my grandmother was in Haverhill. The two cities are reasonably close to each other. It wasn't uncommon in those days to see people from all over the Merrimack valley in Newburyport or vice versa. The "courting distance" I talked about made it possible for the two to meet regularly thanks to the "wonder" that is the US highway system. All you need to do is go on 495 and you're there in no time. Of course it's a lot more fun to go on the back roads. That was usually where my parents pointed out various houses and other landmarks on the way to the marina.

    Things were going well for the two after they met. Robert got in real good with the Felkers and everyone was getting along great. I don't recall there ever being much of a conflict. Not that they would have told me! My grandmother's brothers and sisters all liked "Bob" and he liked them. No negative words were ever spoken because my grandfather was always kind to everyone he met. That alone probably scored many "good boyfriend" points with my grandmother. If you come from a big family, you've got to charm not just your significant other. You've gotta be pals with the family. It works wonders!

     Despite there being peace in the valley, real world events had to rear its ugly head. The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941 sending America head-first into the second world war. Robert answered the call to duty and signed up for the draft on February 2nd, 1942 and began to work for the US Air Corps, the organization that would one day become the United States Air Force.

    At the time, Robert was only nineteen and thoughts of marriage were probably percolating in his brain. The problem was that the Air Corps sent the young pilot to where he was needed. He went all over Europe and North Africa flying planes and working on them for Uncle Sam. He would take pictures of his adventures and send them home to his girlfriend since photography was one of his many hobbies.

Natalie Felker in high school.

    Like many soldiers of the era, Robert would write back home to his parents and especially Natalie. I wish I had scanned a few of them. But, I can tell you that they are definitely in my possession and in a safe, dry place in my closet. You can't get much safer than that! Well, I could put them in a safe....

    The contents of the letters are typical. Robert wrote about how much he missed Natalie, where he was and what he was up to that day. The letters, I'm sure, were the highlight of Natalie's day as I know for a fact she was definitely worried about her boyfriend overseas. She was okay, though. She had her five brothers and sisters and her parents helping her through sleepless nights. 

    That isn't to say he never took shore leave. There's no question he came back to the States every now and then. He just had a job to do and he performed his duty admirably. I often wonder if the topic of marriage crossed his mind as they were STILL dating at the time. I'm not even exactly sure when he proposed.

    When the war ended, things didn't move as fast as I thought they would. You'd think they'd have gotten married the second the war was over. Alas, that was not to be because during the post-war era Uncle Sam needed my grandfather's services yet again. Japan was a country devastated by the war as evidenced by the fact that two atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Helping the Japanese recover were many soldiers including my grandfather. During that time, the letters home continued. In those letters, he was very cordial about his dealings with the Japanese. He again didn't have any harsh words at all. I think traveling around the world like this made him worldly and more aware of other cultures. He literally went everywhere. When I was a kid, he even pointed out where he went on various maps of Europe, Asia and North Africa. He never talked about the combat. He talked about the people living there.

    

About time!

    Eventually, Natalie and Robert did get married on June 5th, 1948. That was a special day. Not just for obvious reasons. June 5th was my grandfather's birthday and at the time he was twenty-three years old. All those years of courting before and during one of the darkest periods in world history was about to pay off in a huge way!

    Natalie's sisters made all of their gowns and they looked amazing in them. My grandfather looked great too and serving as his best man was his brother, Alfred. The wedding must have been beautiful and I'm sure there was not a single dry eye in the house. It was a long time coming after all.

    I've often wondered what took them so long to get married. But, I can understand it. There was a war on and my grandfather was sent overseas a lot. He took his duty very seriously and helped in his own way after the war. That was just the kind of person he was! It took the birth of my mother to finally clip his wings!

    Life turned out pretty good for those two crazy kids. A chance meeting at a skating rink on Plum Island led to an amazing life together. They ultimately had six children, ten grandchildren, several great-grandchildren and a lifetime of great stories. We should all be so lucky! All it took was my grandfather Robert skating into her life. Or did Natalie do the skating? Who can say? 

    Courting distance clearly was no issue here. I wish that skating rink was still standing, though. I'd love to go there. Imagine going back in time and visiting the place where they met! Chances are I'd pause and take it in like Marty McFly did in Back to the Future when he saw his parents kiss. At least there are still pictures and stories!

See ya next time!

  

So much hope for the future!