52 Ancestors Week 16: Negatives

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 16: There are some negatives to family history... Discovering something "negative" about an ancestor, not finding what you were expecting, and even film negatives. This week, explore one of those negatives. Maybe it will turn into a positive!

Don't be so negative.

        On my genealogical adventure, I've discovered many negative aspects to family history ranging from DNA matches who couldn't see the forest for the trees to stubborn brick walls that seem to be made out of titanium. Some fellow genealogists have even taken to criticizing me because I do most of my work online. I don't really want to talk about those negatives as I don't want to turn the blog into a soapbox or a rant about some DNA matches. So, let's focus on something negative that I've discovered about one of my ancestors.

    Amy's right. When you do family history, you are bound to find something negative about your family. They could be slave holders or they could be total jerks. People were human back then and it's important to remember that as you dig through their stats, court appearances and everything else. It's also important to remember that you are not them. You may have their DNA coursing through your body. But, you are a completely different person with your own thoughts and ideas. Keep that in mind as I delve into some negative things I've discovered about my great-grandfather, Vincenzo Ferraiolo.

    In 2018, I took a DNA test on Ancestry to see how much I shared with my parents and my great-aunt, Nicolina. It was something fun to do and a lot of connections I grew up hearing about were confirmed. Everything was great until I saw something odd in my DNA match list. There were these two women who matched me in the 300 centimorgan range. I had no idea who they were and neither did my father who matched them in the 500 centimorgan range. That makes them likely to be my dad's half-first cousins once removed according to Ancestry and the shared cM project.

    My father and I had no idea what was going on. I went online and asked for help in a genetic genealogy group on Facebook run by Dr. Blaine Bettinger. Some people theorized that my grandfather Marco might have had an affair. I nixed that idea right away. The timing was off and the women seemed to have been born in the 1950s or 1960s according to their profiles. Someone suggested I look at my great-aunt's DNA matches to see how much they matched her and that's where things got interesting!

That is not a small number!

    I asked my dad's cousin if I could see Nicolina's DNA match list. When I did, I saw that she matched the two women in the high 1000 centimorgan range. That....That is not a small number! That is a large number!!! I needed to figure out what was going on because my neither my cousin nor Nicolina had any clue who the women were. I asked them if it was okay if I did a little digging. They said "Absolutely!" and I went right to work. I think they wanted answers as much as I did!

    I messaged one of the women and stated my case. I explained who I was, how much DNA I shared with them and more importantly how much Nicolina shared with each match. I gave them my e-mail address and waited for a reply. I was so nervous and certain that I turned someone's world upside down. What if they blocked me? What if they ranted at me or something? I wouldn't have the answers I was looking for. I wasn't as confident in messaging DNA matches back then as I am now. Sure it's still awkward, but, I don't have these doubts any more. 

    Shortly after I sent the messages one of the women replied and she seemed to be willing to discuss the situation with me. She and her half-sister took DNA tests to see if they could find some roots and if a rumor they heard growing up was true.

Not a Sicilian.

    According to them, a "Sicilian boarder" went to northern Vermont for a job in the mid 1930s and got their grandmother, Louvia Mitchell, pregnant. Louvia passed away shortly after their mother, Joyce, was born and she ended up being raised by her husband's family. 

    Right away I was a little confused. "Sicilian boarder?", I asked myself. Vincenzo may have had olive colored skin but not every Italian comes from Sicily! I explained that my family was from Calabria and Campania. Vincenzo was born in San Pietro a Maida in Calabria! I had no roots in Sicily whatsoever. The match explained to me that she heard that his name was "Vincenzo Ferriola" and that he came from Haverhill. At this point I was down the rabbit hole!

    I sat back in my chair and I was like "WHAT?!" I gathered my thoughts and analyzed the situation. In the mid 1930s, Vincenzo was married to Maria Tedesco and had two small children in Haverhill. Could he have gone to Vermont? According to my father, it seemed very likely.

    Vincenzo worked as a laborer for the city of Haverhill and helped to build roads. He probably got a job in Vermont and went there for work. It was the middle of the Great Depression and in those days you worked where work was available. Then again he was working for the Works Progress Administration or WPA at the time. They may have sent him to Vermont to do some work on the roads. Even in the 1930s it was "Infrastructure Week in America"!

   Unfortunately, this all meant that he cheated on Maria and the kids with a woman in Vermont. I know it takes two to tango. But, it is what it is. Who knows what really happened between those two? We can only speculate. What is known is that Joyce apparently had a hard life and was shuffled from home to home never knowing who her parents were. She was likely the subject of gossip and innuendo within the family. I think this is where idea of the "Sicilian boarder" came from. That is only partially true. Calabria is close to Sicily after all.

   

For reference, Alburgh is WAY up near
 Lake Champlain.

    I also did some research on Louvia and found her in various censuses, marriage to her husband and her death certificate. She died less than a year after Joyce was born from brain cancer. Yikes. That was incredibly sad to hear.

    Joyce's birth certificate had something on it that I found odd. Louvia listed her then husband Edward as the baby's father. I suppose the rationale was that this was supposed to be a "family secret" and that no one was supposed to learn the truth. Well, someone did find out the truth and DNA doesn't lie! It only took what eighty years for the truth to come out?

    After gathering all of the necessary information, it was time to present it to my family. I kind of wish I had flow charts and diagrams. In the end, I just showed them the facts and what I was seeing in every DNA test. Shockingly everyone took it well. Even my great-aunt did. I was taken aback because I was the one who discovered this secret. I asked why everyone was so calm. My dad said "It is what it is." Vincenzo had been gone for a long time and it's bad juju to be mad at someone who died over fifty years ago. Everyone said to basically accept it and move on. It was oddly pragmatic. It's not like I expected tables to be flipped or anything. Everyone involved was dead and like the old adage says "Dead men tell no tales." Their DNA on the other hand....

I still want to know what that dog's name was.

    Nicolina did ask me an interesting question, though. She asked me if Vincenzo would have taken care of Joyce if he knew about her. That's a loaded question. I didn't have an answer. I want to believe he would have stepped up and took care of her. I think Nicolina would have known more about her father's actions than I would have. I mean she did grow up with him. I only heard stories and this was one untold story that was hidden until the advent of DNA testing. There was no other way we could have known they existed.

    My great-aunt did eventually reach out to Joyce and the half-sisters talked for quite a bit about their lives. I have no idea what they talked about. I only know that they exchanged photographs and stories. Joyce sadly passed away in early 2019 and the only thing I can say is that at least she is at peace, knew what her father looked like before she died and hopefully is reunited with him in the afterlife.

    One thing puzzles me. If he had an affair during his marriage to Maria, did he have a girlfriend after she died in 1943? What about during his marriage to his second wife, Fortuna? The possibilities are endless and questions like that are just going to drive me crazy. So, it's probably best to take a cue from my family and say "It is what it is. Nothing can be done about it." The truth came out and who knows if there are more children out there. It's best not to dwell on such things.

    If there's one thing I've learned from this adventure it's that everyone is human and we all do things we might regret or do at the spur of the moment. I don't know what happened in Vermont. No one really does. In the years since I found out about his dalliance, I've learned to just accept it and move on. Nothing can be done about it. So, why harbor resentment or anger? The only thing we can do now is ensure that history doesn't repeat itself. That goes for anyone who finds something negative in genealogy. 'Nuff said!

See ya next time!