52 Ancestors Week 26: Identity

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 26

The theme for Week 26 and July is "Identity." In genealogy, we seek out the identities of our ancestors. But they were more than just names. One way you could approach this prompt would be to share something about an ancestor besides just his or her name. Be creative and have fun!

Who am I?

        In genealogy, we tend to seek out the identity of our ancestors. We wonder who they are, where they came from, what their shoe size was and all that good stuff. Those are only natural questions to ask because like they say "Dead men tell no tales". The only thing you can rely on are the bits and pieces of information they've left behind and maybe a photograph or two. Photographs are great and everything. But, what about you, the person researching your ancestors? The more information you find, the more your identity could shift. Would you consider yourself Irish-American if a sliver of your tree hailed from Ireland? What would you identify as as your research progresses?

The "Little Old Italian Lady Squad" (TM)

    Growing up I've always identified as being Italian-American. My last name is "Ferraiolo" and I grew up surrounded by my grandma Ollie and her side of the family. Since she and her sisters lived in Haverhill, we'd visit each other very often and have traditional Sunday dinners and have basically every Italian dish you could think of for meals. That's just how it was. And I may have had some vino. Always take the wine!

    To make things even more interesting, my mother embraced "la dolce vita" to the extent where she would make lasagna, sauce and prepare all kinds of pasta for my father, brother and I. She even made caprese salad for the Salem High cross country team!  They loved it, of course. My coach always asked for it whenever he saw her....and me! He even asked for it when I saw him a few years after I graduated!

    This isn't to say that I never learned anything about grandpa Hamel or my grandma Felker's family. No, no. Don't get me wrong. I did. You never got away from grandpa Hamel's stories about being stationed in Italy and North Africa or something like that. It just never happened. They talked just as much as my Italian relatives did. TRUST ME! I just didn't see them as often as I saw grandma Ollie, her sisters, my dad's cousins, my great-aunt Nicolina and my second cousins on that side. That's just how life turned out for my brother and I.

Mmm. Diverse pie.

    When I took a DNA test on Ancestry, I wasn't the least bit surprised by my results because half of my tree is Italian. Those branches are just evenly split between Calabria and Campania. My results reflected that pretty well as it consistently hovered around 50% Italian or more specifically "Southern Italian" with each passing update. Does this mean I can consider myself Italian-American? Is the Pope a Catholic?

    Your mileage will vary with these DNA tests, of course, as they don't automatically tell you what you nationality can or should identify as. All they can tell you is where a certain percentage of your DNA comes from. Sure you can still identify with one nationality or another. It's your choice and it should be a personal one regardless if you were adopted or not. I'm not going to be the guy who tells someone what they should identify as according to their DNA. That's a personal matter which should be left to the person on a case by case basis.  You do what you want to do. I have a good friend who found out he is 46% Indigenous. He identifies as Indigenous and now works to promote change in Canada. 'Nuff said there!

    I've often asked my mother about my French-Canadian roots and traditions despite growing up in an Italian-American household. I was curious and I wanted to know more about those roots because I saw those relatives very rarely. She said there wasn't much to tell because grandma Felker never really made anything remotely French. The only French she knew was when her grandmother Henrietta would talk to her sisters in French while she was in the room.  The joke was on her. Eventually, my mom studied French and when Henrietta had her stroke in the 1970s she could only speak French for some reason. My mom became the only person who could talk to her aside from her husband, Austin.

Clara liked calamari but hated squid!!

    Now that I think about it, many people on my mom's side more or less embraced Italian traditions. It's very common in the Merrimack valley for people to just go with the flow. There are less conflicts that way and I think it can be mostly attributed to the fact that my mom's side is also predominantly Catholic.

    Grandpa Bob always told me how Grandpa Marco was a good man whenever I asked him about him. From what I gathered they got along pretty well. In fact, while my parents were dating there was this party and both sets of grandparents were all invited.

    My great-grandmother Clara tried calamari for the first time in her life. She said she loved it. But, she hated squid. I wonder if anyone ever told her calamari was squid. Maybe she did know and she was just trolling. Who knows? I'm just glad both sides got along famously! Both cultures do have similarities.

    Genealogy allows everyone the opportunity to see what their heritage is. In my opinion, it can only tell you so much because how you are raised can also help you to identify with one culture or another. Like I said before, it's a very personal thing to choose between one or the other. In my case, I have both French-Canadian and Italian (with some English) to work with. To be honest, they kind of blended together because I live in a very cosmopolitan part of the United States. I can easily say I'm Italian-American. I can easily say I'm Canadian-American as five of my second great-grandparents on that side were born in Quebec and immigrated to America. But, in the end I was brought up surrounded by my dad's side of the family. That's just how it was, like I said.

    Perhaps these days I should take both and see what comes up. Cousins on both sides of the tree have been very helpful. I can't only say I'm Italian-American. I can say French-Canadian as well. (Ironically this blog is being posted on Canada Day.) I may have been raised a certain way but there are other facets to a person that paints a bigger picture. You can identify with whatever you want to be and that's what it is to have free will. No one else can make that call but you.

See ya next time!