52 Ancestors Week 13: Light a Candle

 From Amy Johnson Crow: The theme for Week 13 is "Light a Candle." Candles are often lit in remembrance, in prayer, or when the power goes out for 5 days because of an ice storm. Be creative with this prompt!

The first 13 weeks of 52 Ancestors 2023 is brought to
you by Kleenex.

     The first thirteen weeks of this year's 52 Ancestors has been nothing short of a roller coaster. We've had highs, lows and many feels and looking ahead to the rest of the year's prompts I don't think it's going to stop any time soon. This is good, though. As a writer, you want to be able to talk about the good times and the bad times. Sure it hurts to talk about the bad stuff. However, I've found that talking about the pain in family history also helps one to deal with it in their own way. Does it suck? Well, it wouldn't be family history without discussing some of the bad stuff because life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. In life, you've got to take the good with the bad and that's what I've always tried to do.

    For this week, I will be lighting a candle for my dad's cousin and my first cousin once removed, Carol Ann Messa-Descoteaux. Born to Ugo Messa and my great-aunt, Josephine Carrabs, she basically took a cue from grandma Ollie and was just as amiable and as fun to be with as Ollie ever was. I can't say she was more fun to be with than my grandmother. But, she came close! 

    She would invite my parents, all of my father's cousins over for dinner every year for an event she called "Cousin's Day". This was an event held every May around Mother's Day and was made official once the last of the Carrabs sisters passed away. Originally, we'd all go out to dinner with all of the "Little old Italian ladies (TM)" and go to Carol's house for dessert. Once the last of the sisters passed away, we just went to her house for dinner and dessert.

    Carol was the oldest of my father's first cousins and honestly she was like an aunt to me since my father had no siblings. The same can be said for all of his first cousins on both sides of his family tree.

Carol and Clementina Forgione

   The reason why I'm lighting a candle for her is because she lost her battle with cancer in June of 2020 at the height of the Covid pandemic. What I remember the most about her was how much she encouraged me during my genealogical adventure once grandma Ollie and her sisters had all passed away. When we'd visit, she would share photographs like this one with me and I'd take pictures of them for safe keeping. I wasn't about to take them from her!! That wouldn't be cool.

    She also had a great sense of humor. I remember asking her about her recipe for eggplant parmesan a couple years before she passed away and she said to ask her daughter Sandra since she helped to make the dish on more than one occasion. So, I asked Sandra and she said it was actually her grandma Josie's recipe. I turned to look at Carol for answers and she just had this "Gotcha" look on her face along with a smirk! Was I trolled? Yes. Yes, I was. Trolled by my own family. Sigh.... This actually happens more times than I'd like to admit, by the way!! I ended up just taking it in stride and eating the delicious eggplant parmesan. What else could I do? Not eat? 

    A few years before that little adventure, we all gathered to watch several home movies on one of those old school reel-to-reel projectors from the '60s. The thing was so loud that I thought it was going to break at any moment! Thankfully, it didn't and we all watched Carol and the others growing up and in the film were her grandparents, Giuseppe and Clementina. She sat next to me and laughed and smiled may times as we watched the events from years gone by.

The heart was a nice touch.

    I've said time and time again that we need to digitize those home movies because film degrades and all that. We have the film strips at my house. We would just need to transfer them to a digital format. That just takes time and money. Here's hoping we do so, soon because there is some serious gold in there! I just wish there was audio so I could hear what Giuseppe and Clementina sounded like. 

    Back on topic! Carol was simply one of the nicest people I've ever known. She was very kind, considerate and encouraging to those around her. I honestly don't think she had a mean bone in her body or anyone ever said anything mean about her. But, you all know what they say. The good die young. 

    It's a shame what happened and everyone was shocked by her diagnosis. However, her memory is alive in those who knew her be it family and friends. Her profile is immortalized here in the blog and on WikiTree. That's really the best anyone can do for a nice person like Carol. Keep her memory alive and tell good stories about people like her who are proof that there's good in the world. 

    
RIP Carol (1943-2020)