52 Ancestors Week 5: Influencer

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 5

The theme for Week 5 is "Influencer." Although the word "influencer" has been watered down because of social media, all of us have had people who have influenced our lives. This week, write about that person or perhaps someone you know who influenced someone else in your family. Maybe you have a relative who would have been described as an influencer in their community. Don't let me influence how you interpret this prompt!

I have a feeling he'd have totally done this....

    Long before social media was ever a constant presence in our lives, people often influenced others to do a thing. If somebody made wine, they taught someone else how to do it if they were interested. Some people like my cousin Giovanni Coppola have even influenced a ton of other people like his friends and family to leave Italy and come to America. No one was ever "above the influence" back in the day and these days you can still be influenced by friends and family alike.

    One of the questions I've often been asked is "How did you get involved in genealogy?" and "Why did you take a DNA test?" The answer is quite simple. My family influenced me on both counts.

Are we sure they aren't looking at their phones?

    I've touched upon this in my introductory blog from back in 2019 and now is as good a time as any to revisit the basic plot points that got me started on this genealogical adventure. As you guys know, I am half Italian. Shocking, I know. You can stop clutching your pearls. It's going to be okay. Just don't take me to Olive Garden. ;)

    Basically, I've always been interested in my family's story because I was over my grandmother Olympia's house quite frequently growing up. I mean she literally lived the next town over! Not a week went by when we didn't visit her house and when we were there, the family history lessons began in a very subtle manner. Yeah. Subtle like a train going into Boston.

    Ollie was a very kind and amiable woman. She'd have given you the shirt off her back if you asked her. Because of her kind nature, many of her friends and her sisters were often at her house whenever we'd drop by unexpectedly. It'd be like this: My parents would pick my brother and I up from school and say "We're going to Grandma's for dinner!" or something. We'd get there and usually one of her sisters or someone she knew was there. Bonus points if that person last saw you as a baby and you have NO idea who they are and they STILL give you a big hug! 

Rocco on the far left and Pasquale on the far right.

    We'd sit down and eat and someone would randomly mention her father or her uncles Rocco and Pasquale. They'd talk about how their grandkids were doing and ask if they talked to one of the other relatives recently. Basically, they would gossip and get everyone up to date on the family in Melrose and Everett. My brother and I had no idea what was going on. So, I would randomly ask "Who's Rocco?" or "Who's Pasquale?" Or some other question because let's be honest I was a little lost. I needed a scorecard to tell me who was who and how they were all related to me. And they didn't just talk about Rocco and Pasquale. They talked about EVERYONE in the family.

EVERYONE.

    Being the great little old Italian ladies™ that they were, they'd smile at me, pull out the pictures and began relating the entire history of the Carrabs clan in America. I listened while Jim basically went to watch television or something. It's not that he wasn't interested. He just liked to do his own thing. He and I did once look at Rocco's picture in our grandmother's living room and wondered why he had a 'stache like Mario. I guess that was just the style.

    Once the stories about the Carrabs side of the family were finished for the time being, I would ask about grandpa Marco's family. Since passed away when I was four they were more than happy to fill me in on everything because his sister (my great-aunt) lived in Tennessee and was thus very far away. Grandma's house on Washington Street was actually built by Marco's father Vincenzo and was willed to Marco when he passed away. So, I got a little house history in the process.

Nana and Papa at their 50th in 1998.

    After getting an earful of the many, MANY stories about the Italian side of the tree, I did what any normal budding genealogist would do. I asked my other grandparents during one of their visits if they had stories they wanted to share and oh, man did they not disappoint! Right away Grandpa Hamel went into the long, long history of the Hamel clan going back to the founding of Quebec. Was it an infodump? Ohhh, you betcha. I couldn't blame him. He had books. LOTS of books.

    My other grandmother Natalie was the same way. One time she was looking after my brother and I and she told me all about her mother and how she never met her grandfather. She even talked about how several ancestors fought in the American Revolution and how she also had relatives from Quebec.

    For years all of the stories I've heard throughout my life stewed in the back of my mind. Sometimes they'd be repeated over and over again by a parent, a relative or by one of my grandparents. By the early 2000s, both of my grandmothers had past away and I figured it was about time to see if there was any truth to the stories I've heard all my life. I registered on Ancestry.com in November of 2006 and nothing would ever be the same again! I'm making it sound more epic than really is, I know. Humor me.

This is one old tree with a lot of errors on it.
Try and spot them all!!

    I think it's only natural to be inspired by a grandparent to see if there was truth to a story they've told you.  I just wish I could have shown my grandmothers my early work. Grandpa Bob was ,of course, thrilled and loved every discovery I made because a lot of it cemented what he knew about the family.

    Similarly, Aunt Nickie was also impressed by the work I had been doing and encouraged me to continue. She especially loved the fact that I came into contact with family in Europe! She even gave me the names of a few people in Italy to contact!

    I worked on my family tree off and on for several years because I had other interests. I have a webcomic and I had a show on YouTube  where I reviewed comic books. Those both took a lot of time and energy. So, genealogy took a backseat until 2017. Then.....things sort of "exploded" and I was tossed back into the genealogical adventure once and for all.

    A known third cousin on the Carrabis side contacted me on Ancestry and asked me a few questions. She had descended from my grandma Ollie's uncle Rocco and wanted information on the Carrabs clan. At that point I had been talking to a woman named Gesualdogenie and getting information from her tree. She scanned a ton of documents from the Gesualdo, Frigento and Grottaminarda area and was a HUGE help. I put those documents on my tree without hesitation! I gave my cousin Raymalene the details and that was about it....for about a week or so.

    Not long after I talked to Raymalene I was contacted by a woman named Mary Tedesco. You might have heard of her. She was a host of  "Genealogy Roadshow" and is quite the big deal in genealogy circles. She asked about my father and if I had any idea how we were connected. I had to tell her I wasn't sure because at the time I hadn't researched much of San Pietro a Maida. I knew family was from there. I just didn't have the means of checking it out because Familysearch had the records and I had no way of looking for them.

    I asked my father about Mary and it turned out that her grandfather was my dad's godfather. So, is there a connection? Uhh....I would say yes. There are a ton of other connections, too. For the sake of brevity, let's just say we go back a ways. A long way. Her family and mine are famiglia. That's probably the simplest way I could put it without making another blog.

    Mary eventually asked me if my father and I ever considered doing a DNA test on Ancestry. She tested a ton of her family members and I guess she wanted to branch out to the other cousins. She said we should consider doing it because it was fun and we'd get to see how we all matched. I said I would think about it and went to talk to my dad.

    I went to him and guess who he was talking to on the phone. Nicolina. She called the house and asked him if he'd ever test on Ancestry. I heard my father's end of the conversation and my jaw hit the floor. Did she know Mary contacted us? Did Mary contact her? Was this all an amazing coincidence?! What just happened?!

    Apparently, Nicole was quite lonely on Ancestry as she had recently tested and didn't see anyone she recognized as far as DNA matches go. That makes sense. She was, as my good friend Erica says, "All Italian all the time". 

    My father said he'd talk to me about it since I was the "genealogy whiz". I was like "Uhh...Sure." He footed the bill for two tests and I got one for my mother once there was a sale.

    We ended up going with Ancestry not just because it was the biggest database in the world. It was because more Italians tested there than anywhere else according to Erica. And man was she right.

    To make a long story short (TO LATE!), my parents and I tested and joined Nicole on Ancestry. The adventure didn't stop there. While I found that my father, great-aunt and I DID match Mary and virtually every Tedesco who tested, we also found Raymalene and several Carrabs and Forgione cousins my father knew about. My mom noted several Legault and Felker cousins she knew about as well. Keep in mind that the pair of them were looking over my shoulder while I was scrolling down the list of matches and saying things like "OH! This is so and so's granddaughter. He was at our wedding! You should contact them!" The rest as they say is history as more cousins from all over the tree joined the fun.

    In the end, it seems like my own family influenced me to start my genealogical adventure. Because of relatives both close and distant, I was able to find out if there was truth to the many stories I've heard all my life. And you know what? Most of them ended up being true! Amazing, isn't it? It all started with me asking simple questions at my grandma's kitchen table in Haverhill. I guess I can safely say it was those Italians fault that I'm on this path, huh? They started it all and I'm not showing any signs of stopping!

    See ya next time!