52 Ancestors Week 26: Family Gathering

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 26

The theme for Week 26 is "Family Gathering." It's the time of year for family reunions, holiday cookouts, and other get-togethers. Has your family had a family reunion? Do you have favorite memories of getting together with cousins and other relatives?

One out of two grandparents look directly at the camera.

    There's a lot I could say about this week's topic because my family has had its fair share of family gatherings. I've seen family at weddings, funerals, birthday parties and of course the annual Christmas eve feast of the seven fishes. I don't think there's been one gathering I haven't talked about in this blog. It's true that I haven't gone through many specific ones because over time the events just sort of blur together into one big party. Don't worry. I've got a story for everyone this week like I always do. Sit back and make sure you dress to the nines because we're heading to a wedding!

My cousin Ryan, David, Kristyn and Kristyn and
Ryan's father.

    My cousin Kristyn married her then boyfriend David Stout on March 3rd, 2016 in scenic Jacksonville, Florida. Naturally, everyone was invited to attend and though some people couldn't make it I took it upon myself to make a wedding video for the happy couple. I even I made it a point to include messages from family members who weren't at the event. See! I didn't just review comics on YouTube, you know! My editing talents are available for weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, conventions and more! Email me and we'll hash out the details. Have your people contact my people! I'll even do dog weddings! I'm sure that's a thing. Right?

    All joking aside, the wedding of Kristyn and David was a huge deal and it wasn't just because my cousin was getting married. Nope. This was unfortunately the last time I saw my grandfather Robert Hamel alive and in person prior to his death the following year. Naturally, we didn't know it at the time. But, we still made the event one for the books!

I make this look good.

    The reason why it became so memorable started right when my parents and I were waiting for the bus to take us to Logan airport in Boston. I uhh....forgot to pack my suit for the wedding. I can see the disappointment in your eyes, everyone! It all worked out! Once we arrived in Jacksonville we went to a store and picked out a suit just a day before the wedding.

    I told Kristyn what happened and she just smirked and shook her head. Hey. The suit I got was actually better than the one I left at home!

    My grandfather and my cousin Brianna had the shortest distance to travel since they were living in Florida at the time. So, we all met up at the hotel before the wedding and took in some of the sights around town. Jacksonville was nice and since it was early March it wasn't ungodly warm out there. It was warm but not too warm.

   

    We all ended up going to a few nice seafood restaurants and I remember my grandfather watching me eat this lightly cooked tuna encrusted with nuts on a bed of rice. It was like sushi/sashimi. He asked me if I was having a good time. I said I was. I asked him the same thing and he said he was too. But, I could tell he definitely missed my grandmother, Natalie. She and Kristyn were pretty close and I know she would have definitely wanted to be there. Perhaps she was there in spirit.

My cousin Brianna

    The ceremony was as beautiful as you might expect. With her boquet she carried our grandmother's hankerchief and I thought that was a nice touch. She had something from both of her grandmothers in the gown she wore and that was really cool.

    Once the ceremony was over, it was time to party. I spent a lot of time recording bits for the video and talking to various people. I got snippets from the minister who married them, most of the wedding party and various family members.

   

    Since it was still early March the sun set pretty early. So, the minister was actually making sure I was recording a bit here and there. The funny part was I was getting side-eyed by the wedding photographer the whole time! After a few bits I explained to her what I was doing and she seemed okay with everything. At least I hope she was! I wasn't trying to steal her thunder! I swear!

   

I don't know why I look surprised here.

    I did get some clever bits from my grandfather. I told him what I was up to and I asked if he wanted to say anything to Kristyn and David. Natually, he couldn't hear me thanks to the loud music. He had no idea what to make of "Uptown Funk". That song was one of many awesome bangers at the party. Kristyn and David knew what the people wanted to hear!

    In the end, Papa said "I wrote it down."  I took that to mean he signed the guestbook and offered his best wishes.

    That's all you can really ask for. He couldn't hear very well. But, I added that bit into the video and I'm glad I did.  Oh and just so we're clear I made sure I had fun in between filming bits here and there. Though, it was fun dodging the wedding photographer and having the minister help me with some what he called "establishing shots". He was a cool guy I have to admit. 

Aww! When siblings dance.

    One of the best memories I have from the wedding involve Kristyn's mom, Linda. My aunt Linda was supposed to get a knee replacement the day after the wedding. So, what do you think she did? Well, she didn't rest her legs. I can tell you that much!

    Instead of resting she had a bit of a dance-off with her son, Ryan and wore every bit of what was left of her old knee down. Why not, right? If your knee's gonna go out why not dance to the greatest hits from "Uptown Funk" to even "Billie Jean".

    And oh, yes. Linda caused a scene. =) 

    My aunt also made the rounds to every table and wanted to make sure everyone was having a good time. No one ever dared to tell her to slow down. Mother of the bride was in "mama mode" the whole time.  She went into surgery the next day with no regrets at all! If you're going to have knee surgery the day after your daughter gets married, why not go out with a bang? She had no regrets and I can't blame ber for partying!

    Family gatherings like Kristyn and David's wedding are memorable because of the people there and the general celebratory atmosphere. While it is sad that their wedding was the last time my cousins and I saw our grandfather, we take solace in knowing that we saw him the way we wanted to remember him. We remember him having a great time with friends and family alike at the party. He celebrated with us and had a great time. In the end, that's what counts!  It's good to look back at events like these and remember the good times everyone shared because they'll never come again and you never know what the future will bring.

See ya next time!

P.S. I also tried grits for the first time at the wedding. And no they weren't "magic grits". They were pretty good.

52 Ancestors Week 25: Storyteller

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 25

The theme for Week 25 is "Storyteller." Genealogy is more than names and dates. It's the story of our family. It seems like every family has a storyteller, whether it's Uncle Pete with his tall tales or Grandma Adah who quietly told stories of growing up in the early 1900s. Who is the storyteller in your family?

Not to be confused with the Jim Henson show by the same name.

    Welcome back to All Roads Lead to Haverhill, true believers! Stories are a common aspect of your genealogical adventure. You might hear about tales of daring-do like when your great-grandfather narrowly avoided capture by the police or you might hear some off the wall story about how your great-uncle claimed he invented the left-handed turn. Whatever the case is there are sure to be yarns out there spun so tight that even your cat will want to play with it! Are they true? Are they fictional? Well, friends. It's up to you to decide that once your relative finishes talking!

    I love talking like Stan Lee. It's fun. As far as storytellers go, I have quite a few of them in my family tree. My grandfather Robert  was known to tell a few tales about growing up in Newburyport. My grandmother Ollie and her sisters definitely told a ton of stories in their time. You just can't beat a yarn spun by a group of little old Italian ladies. Now, picture three of them all sitting at the table trying to tell you the same story at the same time! Are there tangents? Yes. You bet there is! That comes with the territory. I think this week I'll focus on one story Ollie and her sisters told me a long time ago.....in a city not so far away.

    Growing up, my family and I would visit my grandmother Ollie's house in Haverhill quite regularly. It didn't matter if we were unannounced or not. She was always very happy to see us. She would also somehow have a meal prepared for us and we would dig in. It didn't matter if you already ate. You were still getting fed!

    I remember one visit really well. We arrived at her house on Washington street one summer day and sitting at the kitchen table were Ollie and her sisters, Ellie and Louise.  My brother went into the den to watch some television after being hugged by everyone and I being the curious kid wanted to know what was going on.

  

    Grandma Ollie had a pot of pasta fagioli on the stove and she and her sisters were just talking about "the old days".

    I wondered what that meant and I asked her to continue. Apparently Ollie and her sisters were talking about their parents and visiting their uncles in Melrose and Everett. At the time it was the first time I had ever heard of her uncles Rocco and Pasquale. They also had an aunt named Rosina who also came to America. So, naturally I asked for more information about them. I was only ten years old at the time and I was unaware of the story that awaited me AND its many, many tangents!

Rocco on the far left. Pasquale on the far right.

    To set things up properly, the three of them explained how their parents, Rocco and Pasquale were all born in the mountain town of Gesualdo in Campania. They immigrated to America in the 1910s and made lives for themselves in the Massachusetts cities of Haverhill, Melrose and Everett.

    Since the cities were in close proximity to one another, the families would get together quite frequently.  This started tangent #1 when my father brought up Rocco's wine and how it was so strong it could peel the paint off of a boat's hull. Then someone mentioned how Giuseppe's wine was strong too and a big debate ensued!

    Naturally, I had no idea what everyone was talking about. I was ten and I obviously couldn't drink. In fact, the only time I ever had wine was during communion. I started to look confused by what was happening and before I knew it my grandmother brought out this old photo album. She told me I needed the faces that went with the stories we were talking about. She also told me that every good story needed to have faces attached to it. Maybe that's why I like pictures so much now!

Master storytellers!

    I looked at Rocco's picture and I remember saying "He looks like Mario!"  My brother heard me and ran into the kitchen to see what was going on and I showed him the picture. Jim was like "Oh, wow. He does!"  My grandmother and her sisters were a little confused and had no idea we were referencing the video game character.

    Italian men in those days had thick moustaches and wore them proudly. Rocco was no exception. His was thick like his accent. We talked a bit more about Rocco and everyone talked about how he never really spoke English and how he had eleven children.

    This was the next tangent! I learned so much about each of his eleven kids that I wish I took notes. That would have been quite the time saver years latter when many of Rocco's grandchildren turned up as DNA matches on Ancestry.

    My parents even mentioned how some of Rocco's children were at their wedding. That was very cool.

   The stories about Rocco continued for some time and I never got to hear about Pasquale or Rosina during that visit. When it was time to leave, I asked my grandmother about Pasquale and Rosina and she said there'd be time for it the next time we visited or she visited us. 

    Looking back, I figured Rocco stories took up the most time because he was the one who had a ton of children. Rocco and eleven kids. Pasquale had four. Giuseppe had six. Rosina had a few, too. More on her in a future blog.

    As you can see little old Italian ladies are a veritable library of stories. They have many to choose from and many branching tangents going from one topic to another. I remember asking my grandma about my grandpa Marco and somehow we ended up talking about the African American family who used to visit them in the 1950s. Stories just went all over the place and there are some stories that should probably remain internal if you know what I mean. Definitely not safe for WikiTree.

    If there's one thing I learned from the stories my grandmother told me it's that most of them turned out to be true. It was cool seeing the pictures that went with the names and I'm glad that my grandmother had the forsight to just give me a photo album to look at while my parents and everyone else talked. That was pretty cool and I daresay that was probably the start of my genealogical adventure. I'll forever be grateful to my grandma for giving me pictures that went with the people she was talking about. I'm sure she and the sisters would be happy to know I reconnected with many of the Carrabis cousins via dna so that the stories can continue.

'Nuff said.

52 Ancestors Week 24: Hard Times

 Week 24: Hard Times: So, no one told your ancestors life would be this way. Their job's a joke, their broke. Their love live's DOA. It seems like they're always stuck in second gear....At least they get by with a little help from their friends. So, how did your ancestors get through the hard times? Let's hear their stories and let's hope things turned out better for them.

Wow. Things are rough. But, not THAT rough.

      Every family has had to deal with hard times in their lives and our ancestors are no exception. The loss of a loved one is a common theme along with money issues and enough drama to fill one season of your favorite television show. Even then, the truth can often be stranger than fiction. Recently, I found out the reason why my second great-grandparents,Wilfred Felker and  Gertrude Stevens divorced and I am one hundred percent certain that it led to some hard times for their son, Austin.

Wilfred Feker on
a barrel.

    In Gertrude and Wilfred's day, "divorce" was considered a diry word. You didn't go into that situation unless you had little to no choice in the matter. To sum up, Wilfred and Getrude were married in Haverhill in 1891 and they stayed together until the late 1890s. 

    I always knew that they had divorced at some point because it was no big family secret or anything. My mother fondly remembered Austin's half-siblings in the Senter family since they visited him often and a few of them were even at my parents' wedding. So, sufficed it to say Austin was close to the Senters.

    Sadly, Austin was never really that close to the family his father had with a woman named Mary Ann Porter Pierce. Sure they visited each other every once in a while. Many of the kids ended up moving to Indiana and they lost touch with the family back in Haverhill. It happens.

    I always wanted to find out the reason why Wilfred and Gertrude divorced in the first place. I initially suspected that it had something to do with Wilfred's infidelity. While Getrude was pregnant with Austin, he got Mary Pierce pregnant as well. Oh and to make things even more interesting, the baby was born a few months after Austin. Austin was born in September 1892 and his half-brother George was born in February 1893.

    It doesn't take much to put two and two together here. You would think adultery would have been the cause for the divorce. NOPE! I submitted my request for a case file to the Essex County Superior Courthouse in Salem, Massachusetts and within a few days I had my answer. The reason why they were divorced was because SHE abandoned HIM. I sat back in my chair and just read the report three or four times to make sure I was reading it correctly given what I already knew. Really, Wilfred? REALLY?! Sigh....

Getrude and the Senters

    I can't really be mad at someone who's been dead since the 1950s but that was a bold statement to make on his part considering his actions. If he made that claim today, the DNA evidence alone would have made him look like a fool in court. I have DNA matches who descend from Wilfred and Mary. I even have contacts in Indiana who descend from the guy, too.  I really, really, really don't think Gertrude abandoned anyone. 

    Here's where the "hard times" come into play. In the early 1900s, women didn't have the legal standing they do these days. Gertrude could have said anything she wanted and the judge would have brushed her aside as if she was nothing. Though, if it were me I'd have brought out Austin and George's birth certificates and told the court to compare the two documents. The timing is a little off, isn't it? Oh and it gets better. Wilfred's listed as the father on George's birth certificate. Hear that noise? That's the sound of my head banging against the wall.

    It gets even better. Wilfred attempted to get custody of Austin and the battle was so intense that it made the papers in Boston. In the end, neither side "won". And there are no real winners in divorce, anyway.

    Gertrude did end up leaving Haverhill and settled in Farmington, New Hampshire where she married Walter Howard Senter in 1899. She made a better life for herself and got out of a bad situation After all of this, I can tell that she was a strong woman. She likely had a hard time dealing with an intense custody battle, courts not listening to a word she said and a divorce proceeding at a time when women still didn't even have the right to vote among other things. The turn of the twentieth century was not all fun and games for anybody.

Austin Felker and Henrietta Legault

    Thankfully, Austin turned out pretty well after everything that happened to his family. He likely had a hard time dealing with his parents' divorce as he was just seven years old at the time of the custody battle. Many emotions likely ran through his head and I can only imagine how he felt at the time.

His grandparents, Jeremiah Felker and Elizabeth Fellows, were definitely on hand to help their grandson in any way they could. Jeremiah's own struggles likely helped Austin deal with his parents' drama. They probably bonded over the issues since Jeremiah had issues with his father, Elias. I think I covered that drama on more than one occasion.

     The interesting thing is that you can find Austin living with his grandparents in the 1900 and 1910 census in Haverhill. There's no sign of him ever living with Wilfred despite him being clear across town. That tells you something about their relationship. Now, you could atgue that he was visiting them. That may have been the case if it was during the 1900 census. However, he was still there in 1910. That's very telling.

    I don't want to put words in anyones' mouths. But, it seems to me that Austin didn't have that good a relationship with his father. Even my grandmother Natalie didn't talk about her grandfather Wilfred that much if at all. I guess now I know why and the truth really is stranger than fiction. At least things turned out for the best for Austin, his mother and everyone else involved in this story. Did Austin get along with his Felker half-siblings? Probably. I mean they did go boating on the Merrimack River together. Although, the boat did hit a Coast Guard ship once. See the attached article.

    Perhaps after all was said and done there were no hard feelings between George and Austin. They were innocent children caught up in the nonsense brought on by Wilfred's infidely. Though, it is odd Wilfred listed George as a "step-son" in the 1900 census. After reading everything, I think I've come to the conclusion that Wilfred was likely a very hard man to deal with and Gertrude and Austin were lucky to get out of the situation. The early 1900s were clearly a hard time for Austin and Gertrude. If it was a different time, the court would have sided with her and the case would have been open and shut.

    At least now I know the truth about the situation and I can't help but feel sorry for most of the people involved. Austin had a hard time dealing with his parents' divorce and Gertrude had a hard time dealing with the courts of the early 1900s. As far as Wilfred goes, I think I see him in a new light now. It's best to remember that the people behind the names and dates were people and once you find out the truth you may or may not like what you find. Drama happens and it definitely happened way back in the day.

See ya next time.

52 Ancestors Week 23: Health

 From Amy Johnson Crow:

Week 23

The theme for Week 23 is "Health." Health affects everything we do, and it was no different for our ancestors. This week, consider writing about an ancestor who dealt with health issues or one who the picture of health. Another angle would be to write about an ancestor who was a health professional.

Doctor Crusher, report to Sickbay.

    Growing up with two parents who were healthcare professionals was definitely interesting to say the least. Not many people can say that their mother took their blood at the dining room table. Well, they could. But, I think that might be a different issue altogether. As I've discussed many times, my mother was a lab supervisor at Merrimack Medical Laboratories for many years and my father is a dentist. This meant that both of my parents often brought their work home with them. Imagine being six years old and looking through their medical journals. Scary stuff! My dad's journal alone made me want to brush my teeth seven times in a row just to make sure that they were clean! 

Doctor James Ferraiolo
DMD

    Dental health is important and my father, Doctor James Ferraiolo DMD, often made sure my that brother and I had the best dental care ever. Were we good patients? That depends. I still crack jokes when he has me in the operatory chair. His hygienists and I always had a good time at his expense!

    As a dentist, he was well known among my peer group. I remember one time he visited my elementary school to teach us all about the importance of brushing, flossing and everything. Aside from the tips, my friends remember being given these pink tablets called disclosing tablets. They are designed to detect plaque on your teeth and gums and turns them pink for a while so you could see what areas needed to be worked on.

     Looking back, I wonder if there was any hard science behind it. I mean, what if you used the tablets after you had soda or coffee or something? Still, it was a good way to get kids to brush their fangs.  

    I should also note that my dad pratically knew everyone in town and everyone seemingly knew him.  It's not like he was the only game in Salem when it came to dentistry. I think people liked him more than the other places because he had a great bedside manner and a terrific sense of humor. He really makes you feel at ease when you're in the chair. And hey, my teeth have never looked better! Though, I did have to have braces. That wasn't my fault!!

Lab Supervisor Diane 
Ferraiolo

    My mom's work at Merrimack Medical Labs in North Andover, Massachusetts often had her counting blood cells for patients and checking them for various ailments. Merrimack Medical Labs provided important analysis for doctors' offices all across the the valley and my mother was one of the people in charge of making sure the people of the Merrimack valley were healthy.

    Every once in a while, I joined my mother in the lab. I forget why I was often there. I may have been getting bloodwork done. I may have also been picked up from school early and my mother had to go back to work. I'm not sure. However, I do remember using my mother's microscrope a lot while I was there. A REAL lot.

    It's funny because the sight of blood freaks me out a little bit as you can imagine. However, once you look at blood under a microscope it doesn't seem scary in the slightest. Blood cells look like donuts and it was neat looking at them under the microscope.

    I think I also looked at various microbes under the microscope, too. Nothing dangerous mind you! Just paramecia getting devoured by bacteria in real time. To an eight year old boy that is the epitome of cool!

    Like I said it was very interesting growing up with two medical professionals in the house. I had plenty of help with my homework and I've always been grateful to them for any medical assistance they provided whenever I needed assistance of some kind. Because of them, I've always been grateful to doctors of any kind because of all the things they've had to deal with to keep everyone on the planet healthy. They don't get a lot of credit and they definitely deserve all their allocades and my parents are no exception. It's always good to have medical professionals in the family. You never know when you'll need to Facetime a grandchild who has a toothache or something!

See ya next time!