52Ancestors Week 15: Big Mistake

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 15:

The theme for Week 15 is "Big Mistake." Our ancestors weren’t perfect. They were real people who sometimes made mistakes. Likewise, we aren’t perfect, and sometimes we make mistakes in our research. This is a good week to write about an ancestor who chose poorly or a time when a research mistake made your work harder.

Who's up for more self-deprecation?!

    Like Amy said. Our ancestors weren't perfect and we definitely are not perfect, either! I mean I accidentally marked myself as deceased on WikiTree on my first week there! That was an honest mistake! At least I made some cool friends out of it like the forest elf, Eowyn.  Way to look for that silver lining, huh? Well, at least that was one mistake that didn't cause me to leave the site altogether. We laugh about it every time it comes up because self-deprecation is cool and keeps you humble.

    There was a mistake I made on my genealogical adventure that just made me swear off a certain genealogy site for Italian genealogy. To this day, I haven't been back there and I don't think I ever will. If you know me, you'll know that I've been on the Internet for a very long time. I've been a member of several websites and it honestly takes a lot for me to leave a place once I've settled there. This week, I'm going to talk about a site called Italiangenealogy.com and my experiences there. You may have had good luck there and that's great. Me? Not so much. In the end, I'll let you decide if me asking for help there was a good idea or was one of the biggest mistakes I made on my genealogical adventure.

    I honestly don't remember what brought me to the site in the first place. It was shortly after I registered on WikiTree and someone suggested I check out a site dedicated to genealogy on the Italian peninsula. I thought that was cool. What's not to like about a website devoted to finding out where nonna and nonno came from? 

    I was curious and I thought I'd ask a couple questions. At that point I had no idea that records in San Pietro a Maida were locked behind the Family History Library walls. So, I asked them what I could do about researching my great-grandparents, Vincenzo Ferraiolo and Maria Tedesco. Seems innocent enough. Oh, but wait. Things are gonna go sideways fast.

    When I finally logged into the site, I noticed that it was actually a series of message boards set up in the same style of many message boards I frequented in the early 2000s. That didn't fill me with a lot of confidence as vbulletin boards were notoriously unstable and easily hacked. I guess if they were maintained constantly and had a great tech tech behind them they could still work decades after being first introduced. Anyway, I put my harsh criticism aside for the moment and posted my questions about Vincenzo and Maria. Who am I to judge a site based on appearances alone?

 

    I posted my question and gave them all the information I could about my ancestors. I even mentioned Vincenzo's parents, Marco and Caterina and Maria's parents, Antonio and Maria Domenica. Nothing bad happened afterward. A guy told me to check out Antenati and I explained to him that records weren't there.  They gave me a few other tips such as checking out the San Pietro a Maida Facebook group. I thought that was a good idea and I signed up there.

    Then things took a left turn into Crazy Town. Not long after I sorted out my ancestors and built a tree up on WikiTree, someone sent me a private message saying he could help me out. He claimed to be a professional genealogist and he didn't want people to know his real name.

    My spider-sense immediately started to tingle. One of the first rules of the Internet is to be wary of private messages from people saying "Yeah, man. I can help you out. But, I can't let anyone know my real name. Not even you." 

At first I ignored him. Like "Really, dude? Get out of here with that mess."

    The man persisted and I was like "Fine. Let's play this game. I have a block button with your name on it." I didn't put it in those exact words. Lord knows it was tempting. The guy said it would take a while to dig through the records of San Pietro a Maida as he was on his way to a Family History Library to look into things for me.

Gatto is a last name. Facts.

    While I was waiting for Mr. Mysterious to get back to me, I thought I'd ask a question about Antonio Tedesco's mother, Angela Gatto. I had just found out about her thanks to a few people who worked at the commune office in San Pietro. Some people were confused about the name because "Gatto" means "cat" in Italian. They thought I was making it up. I tried to explain that English has last names that are animal names, too like "Wolf", "Falcon" and "Fox". 

    I told them that the commune office gave me the last name "Gatto" and that I trust them. Someone went so far as to call the clerks illiterate. I'm not talking about the 19th century clerks. I'm talking about clerks currently working 9 to 5 in San Pietro at this very moment!!

    Spider sense started to buzz even more at this point. How could people who work with Italian genealogy be so judgmental and arrogant?!  I was about ready to leave the site and never look back because I really don't want to deal with jerks on the Internet. That was when Mr. Mysterious finally messaged me back!  I rolled my eyes and opened the message to see what he found out.....if anything. I was already not a fan of this site and morbid curiosity got the better of me.

    Mr. Mysterious said that he checked all of the records in San Pietro and found three potential fathers for Antonio's father, Tommaso.  He gave me a list of names and I swear to God he said "Pick one of these people and he could be your ancestor" as they were all having children in San Pietro at the same time. My jaw dropped. I shook my head in disbelief. That was the worst way to research someone--EVER! You know how there's a Genealogical Proof Standard? This guy uses the "Eenie Meenie" standard!

   It gets even better! The guy saw my question about Angela Gatto and said that the last name was really "Gullo" and that the commune office messed up. He then proceeded to give me the birth record for an Angela Gullo, her siblings and their parents, Vincenzo Gullo and Caterina d'Elia. He said that was accurate and that the commune office was wrong.

    I didn't know what to say at that point. I'm normally very grateful for any help I get on my genealogical adventure. Two heads are better than one, after all. I sighed and said "Thanks" and I was about to go out the door when my cousin and genealogist Mary Tedesco messaged me.

    Mary said she was contacted by a user on the site who said he knew me. He apparently demanded (not asked) her for records about my great-grandfather Vincenzo. The blood drained from my face and I was ready to rage-quit that site and burn all of the bridges.

    I apologized profusely to Mary.  I had mentioned her in passing because I thought it was the right thing to do. I never intended for the weirdos on that site to message her about anything. I did go back and publicly say that they didn't need to contact her for me. She damn well knew who I was and was not stranger to me or my family. I gave them a nice rant and left the place. I hadn't been back since. I even forgot my password! It's just as well. To this day I'll tell people that they'd be better off going to the Italian genealogy Facebook group and other Facebook groups. They'd also be better off going to WikiTree as well. As for ItalianGenealogy.com? I can't honestly recommend them to anyone.

    If you have Italian genealogy, I highly suggest avoiding the site at all costs. I don't like to throw websites under the bus and I don't like to make things personal in cases like this. But, in this case I think I can make an exception. The users may be helpful at first. But, they get a lot of information wrong. I ended up getting help from real genealogists and volunteers on WikiTree and the Italian Genealogy Facebook group and we found the right ancestors in the San Pietro records. Their attitudes were not great and creepy guys doing "back-door" genealogy via private messages is just not a good look.

    That thing with Mary was the last straw for me. I get that they were trying to help. But, you don't demand information and say someone she knows sent them. I was so embarrassed and for a long time I couldn't even message my cousin. It was humiliating to say the least.

    So, what do you all think? Was it worth going there in the first place? I got some minor help here and there. But, in the end I got the same hints and help elsewhere. Not to mention sources. I honestly don't think Italiangenealogy.com is that good a site for Italian research. It's just a lot easier to talk about what you need in a Facebook group or even Wikitree/Geni. A site that is supposed to be all about Italian genealogy should be helpful and shouldn't tolerate misinformation and people going out of their way to ambush a genealogist who just so happens to be a cousin of the person asking the question. But, that's just me. 

    I could go on for a lot longer ranting about the site. But, it's probably a good idea to end here. Even writing about it is bringing back a few bad memories. Eh, whatever. I won't be talking about this site again. So, let this blog be a warning. If something looks sketchy at the start of your visit, it probably is. Lesson learned. The site may be good for some people. But, I don't think I can trust it ever again.

See ya next time!