52 Ancestors Week 9: Family Secrets

From Amy Johnson Crow:  Week 9:

The theme for Week 9 is “Family Secret.” Have you uncovered a family secret? (A reminder that you do not need to post anything publicly.) A secret doesn’t have to be big or negative. (Like my grandpa not telling us grandkids that he was the one playing Santa at the Christmas party.)

This is the only time I'll ever use Comic Sans.

    Family secrets, huh? To tell the truth, I've shared many secrets here in the blog over the years and many of them have to do with my great-grandfather Vincenzo. I swear he was the undisputed king of the worst kept family secrets.  Anyway, not all family secrets need to be negative like Amy said in this week's prompt. Sometimes they can be fun and sometimes they can be worth talking about once the statute of limitations ran out . Oh, I can see you all getting comfortable right now. I have a good story to share with everyone so you might as well get cozy. Would you be surprised to learn that my great-grandfather Alfred Hamel helped rum runners in Newburyport during the Prohibition? 

Now we know why he has that
swagger....

    I'm not sure if I've told everyone this story before. But, it bears repeating because it's a fun story and since Prohibition ended almost a century ago I THINK the statute of limitations ran out by now. Before I get into the gory details, let me set the stage a bit.

    Alfred was a very popular man in Newburyport, Mass because he had his own "Fix-it" shop. There he would make keys and fix various appliances. You name it, he fixed it. That was how he became known as the city's "Mr. Fix-It". I didn't quite realize just what that meant until my mother told me one night over dinner.

    My mother and I would go out to dinner whenever my father would have a dental meeting and one dinner in particular stuck out to me because we were discussing this very blog. I send her links to my blog and she talks about them with me. Sometimes we talk about stuff I can talk about in future blog posts and somehow the topic of Alfred Hamel helping rum runners came up.

    The city of Newburyport sits at the mouth of the Merrimack River and because of that the city became famous for its mills much like other cities along the river like Haverhill and Lawrence. It was a major shipping port in the 18th and 19th centuries and an important stop on the Underground Railroad. By the time of Prohibition it became known as a spot where people could get their alcohol fix.  Rum runners in the 1920s made very good use of the river as they'd use boats to ship to other boats in international waters and there people would....well....you know. Party like it was 1899.

    Naturally, rum runners needed someone to fix their boats whenever there was a problem. And who did they call on to help them? Well, Newburyport's own Mr. Fix-It of course!  He was the man to see if you wanted your boat engine fixed with no questions asked!

The stories the river could tell....

    I'm sure the rumrunners trusted Alfred with their boats and made sure he didn't rat them out to the cops. These days he would have definitely been considered an accomplice. That begs the question. How involved with the rumrunners was he? Not only that....How did my Mom find out?! It's not something you randomly tell someone over dinner, you know. Wait....

    Well, maybe she found our when Alfred or her own father told her. I mean both guys were known to tell a story or two and by the time my mother came around I'm sure it was okay to talk about rumrunning. It wouldn't have been a big deal by the 1950s is what I'm saying.

    This secret is fun to think about because it gives me a bit of an insight into the man behind the "Mr. Fix-It" name. Not only was he a simple repairman who'd fix your refrigerator or icebox as it was called in those days. Alfred would work on a rumrunner's boat and not ask any questions. You might be wondering if he really knew he was working on a rumrunner's boat. Oh, he knew. He HAD to have known. The smell of alcohol on a boat is hard to miss. Trust me.

Hanging out on the river.

    It's really no wonder that he became a popular repairman in Newburyport. I don't mean it was because he fixed boats or anything. He was just the kind of guy everyone could trust. If a rumrunner could trust you not to rat them out, you're pretty much golden.

    Did he know what he was doing was illegal? Probably. Did he care? Probably not. We have to remember that our ancestors were people like us and they had their own faults and foibles. If I could, I'd probably ask Alfred just how he got roped into that world. Like I said. The statute of limitations ran out and I'm sure he'd tell me the tale.

    Here's how I picture it. Imagine Alfred was working in his shop one day and a guy comes in wearing a long coat. He might have smelled a little off. He says to Alfred "Hey. I need some help. My boat's engine needs some work done." Alfred agrees to help and notes that the man smells like alcohol.  He obviously figures out that the man was a bootlegger and the man offers to pay him double to keep his mouth shut. He agrees to help and thus a legend was born. That's how I see the story unfolding. Whether or not there's truth to it remains to be seen. I mean the guy running the booze might have been a friend, too! You never know!

Not running booze here. Nope. No way!

    The amazing thing is that he never got caught as far as I know. If he did, I don't think the city would have looked at him quite fondly. His reputation in the city as "Mr. Fix-It" would have taken a serious hit. He definitely wouldn't have gotten a glowing obituary when he passed away in the early 1960s.

    Sadly, there's no record proving that he helped bootleggers from time to time. It's not like they kept records of who they met up with out in the open ocean. Certainly repair logs at the fix-it shop would help. But, he could have easily omitted the times he repaired a boat. Sadly, those records are lost to time and the only records I have of his repair shop are electric bills. Those are not going to help anyone.

     Records or not it's still fun to think about those days. Did he ever join them out in the open ocean? How involved with the organization was he? All I can say is I bet he was relieved once Prohibition ended in 1933. The United States had uhh.....bigger problems at that time than just bootleggers. I suppose once it was lifted, he felt a great weight was lifted from his shoulders. There was no way he'd be prosecuted! He got away with everything!

    Family secrets don't always have to include drama or something really shocking. There's more than enough of that to go around. Sometimes there are fun stories that show your ancestor was more than just a photograph and stats on your favorite genealogical platform. They were human. They made mistakes and sometimes inadvertently found themselves entangled in major historic events of the time. I like to call it the "Forrest Gump effect". Someone just finds their way into interesting times through no fault of their own and these days that curse is still going strong.

See you next time and raise a glass!

52 Ancestors Week 8: Migration

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 8:

The theme for Week 8 is “Migration.” Almost everyone has ancestors who came from somewhere else. Who is someone in your family tree who moved away from where they were born? How did they get there? How far did they move?

You can take someone out of New England....

    While Haverhill, Massachusetts is indeed the center of the universe as far as my family tree is concerned, it should be noted that many people in my family did indeed leave New England for better job opportunities or had just plain old wanderlust. I can safely say that no ever went to California because there was gold in the hills or anything like that. Though, these days a little gold might help. I'm just saying.

    Several people opted to go to places as far away as Nova Scotia, Florida and other places around North America. It's no surprise that many people pulled up stakes and moved to various places around the continent. They wanted to see what was out there. This week, I'm taking this blog out west to Vegas, baby! Okay. It's not technically Las Vegas, Nevada. It's really nearby Reno. I'm still contractually obligated to say "Vegas, Baby!". I should have read the fine print in my contract.

Vincenzo's in the middle.

    Vincenzo Carrabis, the oldest son of  Pasquale Carrabis and Raffaela D'Adamo was the undisputed king of wanderlust. He was born in Gesualdo, Italy in 1918 and settled in Everett, Mass. Once he was old enough, he left New England with his second wife, Dolores Washburn and they got married in Carson City on August 18th, 1967.

    From there they moved to Reno and spent the rest of their lives there. While in Nevada, Vincenzo aka James worked as a bus driver. James sadly passed away five years after he and Dolores got married. I can only hope that those few years were happy.

    I have to assume they were. My cousin Joanne recalls visiting her aunt DeeDee (Dolores) quite frequently until she passed away in 2000. Still, I have to wonder what brought James all the way to Nevada. He had six children with his first wife Margaret D'Aiello. They had married young and by the mid 1960s they divorced. Maybe they wanted to enjoy their retirement years by moving to a place that's sort of exotic. I'm honestly not sure. Looks like I might have some inquiries to make!

    Of course James was never really a stranger to traveling. Longtime readers might remember a blog I wrote in 2022 where I talked about James's trip to Ohio. In the blog, I said that James went to Ohio and got a woman named Edna pregnant and that he was the grandfather of a DNA match.

    Three years later and I'm still not sure what he was doing in Ohio and everything. I only know that his son Donald was born sometime before his son James was born to him and Margaret in 1950. My DNA match Wendy shares a whopping 830 cMs with him.  That's still a large number!

    Anyway, James clearly did his fair share of traveling before settling in Nevada. Several of his children ended up there and built lives of their own. Joanne suggested that I message one of them so I could get the whole story about James and why he moved all the way to Nevada. I might want to leave out the bit about Ohio. But, I have a feeling news spread fast about it as it tends to do in large families.

    James is just one of many people in the family tree who migrated elsewhere on the continent. Did he expect to find riches in the Reno area or did he and Dolores just feel like it was a great place to spent their twilight years? I'm going to go with the latter because that seems like a romantic notion and I'm in a romantic mood today. Either way, many people have many different reasons for going from one place to another. The families obviously stayed in touch but back in the day it must have been a lot harder to do. Some people traveled far. Some stayed in the same general area. In the end, it doesn't matter how far you travel and put down roots. You're all still family in the end.

See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 7: Letters & Diaries

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 7:

The theme for Week 7 is “Letters & Diaries.” Not much beats finding a letter or diary written by an ancestor. Do you have any in your family? Who wrote them? If you don’t have any letters or diaries, which ancestor do you wish had left some?

Dear, Nephew Gobo....

    I really wish I had a plethora of letters and diaries to share with everyone. The most I have is a letter my grandfather Marco wrote to his sister Nicolina during the second world war. In it, he outlined what it was like to be a paratrooper and it's not for the faint of heart. I might share it some day. We'll see. On my mother's side,  my grandfather Robert wrote letters to my grandmother Natalie during the war. Unlike Marco's letter, I have no idea where those are. They might be down in the genealogy dungeon or they might be with my aunts and uncles. I honestly have no idea. I hope we have them somewhere and that they're kept in a safe place! I also have some letters Nicolina sent me stuffed into the black hole that is my desk. Good luck fishing those out.

    Worry not, my friends. This week's episode of "Show and Tell" does have a letter worth talking about! This one comes to us courtesy of my cousin Caterina Aleardi who you might remember lives in Switzerland. She's the one who gave me that awesome picture of my 2nd great-grandparents, Marco Ferraiolo and Caterina Coppola.  

    In one of our talks about the Astorinos, the family that moved from San Pietro a Maida to Argentina, she told me that a woman named Maria Astorino sent her mother Concetta a letter to her in the mid 1990s.  Maria was my cousin Meli's great-aunt and this is what Maria wrote to her aunt.

    Naturally, I had trouble reading the letter as it was in Spanish and it had been a long time since I took a Spanish class. I know some Spanish words. But, not enough to fully grasp what I was reading here. So, I enlisted the aid of my friend and fellow Wikitreer Cristina Corbellani. Cristina lives in Argentina and has been a big help in helping me track down the Astorinos before Meli found me on WikiTree.

    She translated the letter and told me that it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever read. Here is her translation as I think it should speak for itself:

Buenos Aires, January 25th, 1995.

    My dear Aunt and all my loved ones! I don't know how to start to write this letter in which I'll try to explain everything. We are all alright except for myself, but in my heart I hope that this letter finds you alright, my beloved and loving aunt.

    I know you will be sorry because I cannot travel because my right arm is not well and also my hips. I consulted a specialist and they say I must get surgery on my spine. If I don't get this surgery, I won't make it. See? What bad luck? I was so happy about going to meet my beloved blood, you and the cousins and Rosina. But, destiny doesn't want to give me this comfort to you  or me. 

    

    We don't have a way to thank you for your kindness in offering to pay for the travel.  I know you offer it from the heart, but, God wants it this way. But, I tell you all that in my loneliness I see your sweet image and that of those who smile at me and give me the courage for this bad and sad moment of my life.

    Dear aunt, and all my dears, I had my share when I was small and when I was older. I lost my dear Dad  when I was young and later my dear Mom and my dear brothers. They pray for me. But, for this trouble I have to go through in my life you should not worry because I have the company of my husband's belongings and my children and little grandchildren.

 My uncle? I ask you for the love of God to answer this. Your dear letters make me very happy and give me courage. I think of you all the time but I won't extend myself on those thoughts.

    So, with all my heart receive kisses from my husband and my children and my grandchildren. I kiss all the cousins one by one. I kiss Rosina and her family. I beg you to send me the telephone number of Aunt Rosina because I want to call her. I hug you and kiss you with all my heart .

    Blessings to you. 

Your loving niece,

Maria Astorino

 

Maria Astorino

  Wow. Just wow. Take a minute to just let that soak in. Maria was going through a lot when she wrote that letter to Europe. She was facing back surgery and really wanted to talk to her aunt Rosa aka Rosina. I think Maria and Rosa were really close and I really hope Maria got Rosa's phone number. At the time she and her family were living in Rome. So, you never know if they made contact. 

    Rosa unfortunately passed away four years after this letter was sent to Caterina's mother. So, I hope that Maria made that call to Europe. Charges be damned! I also hope that surgery went well, too. I know what it's like to go under the knife and it's not a pleasant feeling.

    Oh! And there's a post script at the end of the letter written by Concetta's friend Angelina Morano. In it, she says she hopes Maria gets well soon and that everyone gets a chance to talk on the phone. 

    I'm not 100% sure what Maria's condition was like when she wrote the letter. But, I can for certain she definitely had quite a crowd of people pulling for her. And that's all anyone needs. Family is family regardless of how many miles separate you.

   

Juan Julio Astorino

It just goes to show that real life isn't like those movies and television shows where an immigrant leaves their homeland never to be heard from again. I swear Hollywood plays that off for drama. Sure it happens in the really, real world sometimes. But, in a lot of cases families do maintain contact with loved ones all around the world. I mean phones and letters existed long before the advent of the Internet.

    However, once Caterina's mother passed away in 2005 contact with Argentina became a little bit tricky. That was until the summer of 2024 when Meli found me on WikiTree. It was a long twenty years for sure and I'm glad we're all back in touch and I'm sure Meli feels the same way.

    Letters, like pictures, have a way of showing us that the person really existed. They also show us that they're more than just the random dates you're adding onto your family tree. They were people with lives and feelings like you and me. It's very rare for me to find letters like this myself. But, when I do you can bet I'll share them. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm off to the black hole that is my desk. Those letters have got to be in there somewhere! Wish me luck!

See ya next time!

In italiano

Vorrei tanto avere una pletora di lettere e diari da condividere con tutti. Il massimo che ho è una lettera che mio nonno Marco scrisse a sua sorella Nicolina durante la seconda guerra mondiale. In essa, descriveva cosa significasse essere un paracadutista e non è per i deboli di cuore. Potrei condividerla un giorno. Vedremo. Da parte di mia madre, mio ​​nonno Robert scrisse lettere a mia nonna Natalie durante la guerra. A differenza della lettera di Marco, non ho idea di dove siano quelle. Potrebbero essere giù nella segreta della genealogia o potrebbero essere con i miei zii e zie. Onestamente non ne ho idea. Spero che le abbiamo da qualche parte e che siano conservate in un posto sicuro! Ho anche alcune lettere che Nicolina mi ha mandato infilate nel buco nero che è la mia scrivania. Buona fortuna a recuperarle.

Niente paura, amici miei. L'episodio di questa settimana di "Show and Tell" ha una lettera di cui vale la pena parlare! Questa ci arriva per gentile concessione di mia cugina Caterina Aleardi che, come potreste ricordare, vive in Svizzera. È stata lei a darmi quella fantastica foto dei miei bisnonni, Marco Ferraiolo e Caterina Coppola.

In una delle nostre chiacchiere sugli Astorino, la famiglia che si è trasferita da San Pietro a Maida in Argentina, mi ha raccontato che una donna di nome Maria Astorino le ha inviato una lettera a sua madre Concetta a metà degli anni '90. Maria era la prozia di mia cugina Meli e questo è ciò che Maria ha scritto a sua zia.

Naturalmente, ho avuto difficoltà a leggere la lettera perché era in spagnolo ed era da molto tempo che non prendevo lezioni di spagnolo. Conosco alcune parole spagnole. Ma non abbastanza per comprendere appieno ciò che stavo leggendo. Quindi, ho chiesto aiuto alla mia amica e collega Wikitreer Cristina Corbellani. Cristina vive in Argentina ed è stata di grande aiuto nell'aiutarmi a rintracciare gli Astorino prima che Meli mi trovasse su WikiTree.

Ha tradotto la lettera e mi ha detto che era una delle cose più belle che avesse mai letto. Ecco la sua traduzione perché penso che dovrebbe parlare da sola:

Buenos Aires, 25 gennaio 1995.

Mia cara zia e tutti i miei cari! Non so come iniziare a scrivere questa lettera in cui cercherò di spiegare tutto. Stiamo tutti bene tranne me, ma nel mio cuore spero che questa lettera ti trovi bene, mia amata e amorevole zia.

So che ti dispiacerà perché non posso viaggiare perché il mio braccio destro non sta bene e anche i miei fianchi. Ho consultato uno specialista e mi hanno detto che devo operarmi alla spina dorsale. Se non mi faccio operare, non ce la farò. Vedi? Che sfortuna? Ero così felice di andare a incontrare il mio amato sangue, te e i cugini e Rosina. Ma il destino non vuole darmi questo conforto né a te né a me.

Non abbiamo un modo per ringraziarti per la tua gentilezza nell'offrirti di pagare il viaggio. So che lo offri dal cuore, ma Dio vuole che sia così. Ma ti dico che nella mia solitudine vedo la tua dolce immagine e quella di coloro che mi sorridono e mi danno il coraggio per questo brutto e triste momento della mia vita.

Cara zia, e tutti i miei cari, ho avuto la mia parte quando ero piccola e quando ero più grande. Ho perso il mio caro papà quando ero giovane e più tardi la mia cara mamma e i miei cari fratelli. Pregano per me. Ma per questo problema che devo attraversare nella mia vita non dovresti preoccuparti perché ho la compagnia degli effetti personali di mio marito e dei miei figli e nipotini.

Mio zio? Ti chiedo per l'amor di Dio di rispondere a questo. Le tue care lettere mi rendono molto felice e mi danno coraggio. Penso a te tutto il tempo ma non mi dilungherò su quei pensieri.

Quindi, con tutto il cuore ricevo baci da mio marito e dai miei figli e dai miei nipoti. Bacio tutti i cugini uno per uno. Bacio Rosina e la sua famiglia. Vi prego di inviarmi il numero di telefono di zia Rosina perché voglio chiamarla. Vi abbraccio e vi bacio con tutto il cuore.

Benedizioni a voi.

La vostra affettuosa nipote,

Maria Astorino

Wow. Semplicemente wow. Prenditi un minuto per lasciarti trasportare. Maria stava attraversando un periodo difficile quando scrisse quella lettera all'Europa. Stava affrontando un intervento chirurgico alla schiena e voleva davvero parlare con sua zia Rosa, detta Rosina. Penso che Maria e Rosa fossero molto unite e spero davvero che Maria abbia avuto il numero di telefono di Rosa. All'epoca lei e la sua famiglia vivevano a Roma. Quindi, non si sa mai se si sono fatte sentire.

Purtroppo Rosa è morta quattro anni dopo che questa lettera è stata inviata alla madre di Caterina. Quindi, spero che Maria abbia fatto quella chiamata all'Europa. Al diavolo le spese! Spero anche che l'operazione sia andata bene. So cosa significa andare sotto i ferri e non è una sensazione piacevole.

Oh! E c'è un poscritto alla fine della lettera scritto dall'amica di Concetta, Angelina Morano. In esso, dice che spera che Maria guarisca presto e che tutti abbiano la possibilità di parlare al telefono.

Non sono sicuro al 100% di quali fossero le condizioni di Maria quando scrisse la lettera. Ma posso dire con certezza che aveva sicuramente un bel po' di gente che la sosteneva. E questo è tutto ciò di cui chiunque ha bisogno. La famiglia è famiglia, indipendentemente da quante miglia vi separino.

Questo dimostra che la vita reale non è come quei film e programmi televisivi in ​​cui un immigrato lascia la sua patria per non farsi più sentire. Giuro che Hollywood lo sfrutta per drammatizzare. Certo, a volte succede nel mondo reale. Ma in molti casi le famiglie mantengono i contatti con i propri cari in tutto il mondo. Voglio dire, telefoni e lettere esistevano molto prima dell'avvento di Internet.

Tuttavia, dopo la scomparsa della madre di Caterina nel 2005, i contatti con l'Argentina sono diventati un po' complicati. Questo fino all'estate del 2024, quando Meli mi ha trovato su WikiTree. Sono stati sicuramente vent'anni lunghi e sono felice che siamo di nuovo in contatto e sono sicuro che Meli la pensa allo stesso modo.

Le lettere, come le foto, hanno un modo di mostrarci che la persona è realmente esistita. Ci mostrano anche che sono più di semplici date casuali che aggiungi al tuo albero genealogico. Erano persone con vite e sentimenti come te e me. È molto raro per me trovare lettere come queste. Ma quando lo farò, puoi star certo che le condividerò. Ora, se mi scusi, me ne vado nel buco nero che è la mia scrivania. Quelle lettere devono essere lì da qualche parte! Auguratemi buona fortuna!

Ci vediamo la prossima volta!

52 Ancestors Week 6: Surprise

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 6:

The theme for Week 6 is “Surprise.” What ancestor dealt with a surprising thing in their life? Any stories of surprise birthday parties? How about the most surprising thing you’ve found or something in a surprising place?

It's an unknown DNA match!!

    It seems like surprises are common when you're out on your genealogical adventure. Don't let anyone tell you it's mundane looking for an ancestor or two. Even when you take a DNA test you'll still find surprises around every corner. Of course that's where the real fun begins!  I've lost count of how many surprises I've found since I took at that DNA test back in 2017. When you've been at it as long as I have you'll likely find cousins you never knew existed and maybe you'll reconnect with a branch of a tree that's been covered by the sands of time. Whatever the case is, you're going to find something out there that can and will shock you. Case in point. My great-grandfather Vincenzo Ferraiolo had yet another child out of wedlock.

Vincenzo and Maria.

    Longtime readers  might remember me writing a blog where I wrote about the time when Vincenzo went up to Alburg, Vermont in the mid 1930s for work and ended up getting a woman named Louvia Mitchell pregnant.  She sadly passed away a few months after giving birth to a woman named Joyce. Joyce had many children and two of them took a DNA test on Ancestry and were matches for my great-aunt Nicolina my father and myself.

    To make a long story short I contacted them and we sorted out the family story. I haven't really heard much from them since those days. I hope they're doing well.

    Anyway, not long after I sorted everything out and talked to Aunt Nickie about what I found another very close DNA match showed up for her. I'll be changing the names to protect the innocent. Let's call this one Joey. Joey matched her at a mighty 466 cMs. That's a pretty solid match! At that number a person could be anything from a half first cousin once removed to a great-grandparent. It was not a false positive. Naturally, I messaged Joey in the hopes of finding out who he was.

      While I was waiting for a response, I did some digging into seeing who he shared matches with and I found that he shared matches with virtually every Ferraiolo and Coppola DNA match who tested at that point. I had my work cut out for me. Thankfully, I got a reply back!

That is not a small number!

    Joey's DNA test was managed by a woman named Rachel and she said she had no idea how the three of us connected with her adopted son.  That would have been the end of it had I not been persistent. You guys all know how persistent I can be! Though, the trick is finding the fine line between persistence and being a pain in the butt.

    I asked Rachel if I could see her son's DNA results. I tried explaining to her that 466 cMs is nothing to sneeze at. It's a fairly large number. She said it was fine as she was more interested in finding the identity of Joey's father and the three of us turned out to be maternal matches.

    After walking her through the whole process I was finally able to see all of Joey's results. Sure enough the Ferraiolo and Coppola cousins were all there.  His highest match was a woman who I saw on my match list before. I asked Rachel about her and she said "Oh, that's Phoebe. She's Joey's cousin." She shared over 900 cMs with Joey and that made her a solid first cousin match.

    I took a step back and went back to asking her some questions. At this point I had no idea they were descended from Vincenzo. That revelation didn't come until later. She asked me if I knew a lady named Monica who lived in Massachusetts. I said I didn't know anyone named Monica. Rachel explained that Monica was also adopted along with her brother Ross. She told me Ross was Phoebe's father and that Monica was Joey's mother.

    Monica apparently gave Joey up for adoption and Rachel adopted him in the late 1990s. The adoption agency never gave her much information about his birth family as his birth mother claimed several men were his father. Phoebe ended up being raised by her maternal grandmother. With all this information I knew I had to do something to make sense of the stories I was reading. So, I opened up DNA Patinter's "What are the Odds?" app and went to work on trying to figure things out.

Well, now. That's pretty solid.....

   Using WATO I put in what I knew of Joey's family and put in his shared matches. It didn't take me long to figure out my great-grandfather was the common ancestor of the six matches I put in.

    The second hypothesis turned out to be the most logical theory since I already knew Phoebe was a solid first cousin to Joey.  Everything else wouldn't have made much sense. So, I came to the conclusion that Vincenzo was Joey and Phoebe's great-grandfather.

    I sat back in my chair and sighed. Vincenzo once again had another child out of wedlock. I honestly shouldn't have been surprised. The man was a known philanderer and when I told my parents about what I found they weren't terribly shocked. I mean I had already told them about the Vermont relatives. Nothing else surprised them after that reveal. 

    I asked my father if I should tell Aunt Nickie. He said that wouldn't be a good idea as she was still coming to grips with the whole Vermont issue at the time. She had talked to her half-sister before she passed away and it wasn't a fun experience for her. We had no idea how she'd react to this news so we didn't tell her. And we never got a chance to since she passed away not long after I made the WATO tree. I might have told her daughter Cathie and I'm sure she didn't tell her mother about Joey and Phoebe.

Marco and Cammie!

    After the dust settled, I explained my findings to Rachel. She didn't seem as interested as she was again more focused on finding her son's father. Rachel did tell me that she tried to contact Phoebe and apparently she doesn't want anything to do with her father Ross or that side of the family. 

    I asked her if I could try and contact Monica because I still had one very important question to ask: "Who are Ross and Monica's parents?!" I have a sinking feeling that they might not even know as they were adopted. Rachel told me that their birth name was "Gellar" and that didn't tell me much. Gellar isn’t their real last name.

    So, who could Vincenzo's fourth child be? I'm afraid I might not ever find out that person's identity. I have no clue if it's a man or a woman. I assume it's a woman because Ross and Monica were both born with the last name Gellar.

    Finding that fourth child's identity is going to be a huge challenge. The best thing to do would be to think things through logically.

    Vincenzo went back and forth from San Pietro a Maida to Haverhill several times before marrying my great-grandmother Maria Tedesco in Italy in 1921. Nicolina was born in 1923. Marco was born in 1925. Maria went to America in 1929 and they all lived together until she passed away in 1943. After Maria passed away he married Fortuna Grasso in 1944 and remained married to her until he passed away in 1970. There are sizable gaps of time here and because of that the child could have been born any time.  He was also not above philandering since Joyce was born in 1935 in Vermont while he was married to Maria.

    Could Ross and Monica's parent have been born while Vincenzo was married to Fortuna? It's very likely because both Joey and Phoebe were born in the 1990s. Rachel told me that Ross and Monica were in their fifties and that puts their birth in the early 1970s. If you put two and two together, it seems very likely that the tryst may have happened sometime in the early days of his marriage to Fortuna or a bit earlier. It's honestly hard to say. Any theories would be welcome!

    As you can see surprises happen all the time in genealogy. Skeletons come out of the closet and everything gets revealed. I'm just saddened by the fact that Phoebe doesn't want anything to do with that side of the family. I had messaged her before I knew any of this and never got a reply. I guess now I know why. It happens, I guess. 

    I'm uncertain about what will happen next. Will Phoebe come around and write me back? Chances are good she doesn't know half of this information. Joey and his mother are still trying to find out who his father is and I've been told not to seek out Monica because of some issues I don't really want to go into. 

    I guess for now I can close this chapter or at least put it on the backburner for a while. I'll likely never know the full ins and outs of this story and it's fine to be honest. DNA proved the connection and as we all know DNA doesn't lie. People do. 

    This just goes to show that surprises happen all the time like I said. Sometimes they get solved and sometimes they do but more questions are left up in the air. Here's hoping some answers are revealed. I did help answer their questions regarding the Ferraiolo and Coppola connections. At least one good thing came out of it!

See ya next time!

P.S. I am well aware of the Friends references in the blog. I'm just sorry I didn't have anyone for Chandler. Could that BE any more insulting? RIP Matthew Perry.