52 Ancestors Week 18: Tradition

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 18:

The theme for Week 18 is “Tradition.” Traditions can be an important part of family history, bringing context and connection between generations. What is an important tradition in your family, and who worked to keep that tradition going? 

Having pipe cleaner guys hold on to the 
Christmas tree for dear life is a tradition.

    There are so many traditions I've covered in this blog and sometimes I don't know where to start. For Christmas we have huge Christmas Eve parties. On Thanksgiving we have lasagna with turkey and all the trimmings. Mother's day is just around the corner and this week I thought it'd be a great idea to talk about how Mother's Day meals eventually evolved into something we like to call "Cousin's Day". I know it's not a real holiday but it is in our family! 

    Rather than just take my mother out to dinner every Mother's Day, we would take all the mothers in the family out at once. The results were amazing. Imagine a table full of Italians all talking to each other and over each other at a fancy restaurant. That was basically our Mother's Day every May for as long as I can remember.

Grandma Ollie, her sisters, my Grandma Natalie
and one of my grandma's friends.

    Like the Christmas Eve parties, I'm not 100% sure who started it.  Basically, it was a way for my grandmother to see all of her sisters at once on Mother's Day. It was odd considering everyone was close by anyway. All I can tell you is that every May we would dress up, go to Haverhill to pick up my grandma Ollie and then go to a random restaurant here in the Merrimack Valley for lunch. The restaurant was usually chosen after much deliberation. It usually depended on what everyone was in the mood for that week. Though, some places were honestly better than others. Looking back, I really wished Chef Gordon Ramsay visited the "Pond View". The food was positively ghastly!

    Sometimes we didn't go for the food. We went for the company. The five of us would arrive at the venue and we'd be greeted by all of Ollie's sisters, their spouses, my dad's cousins and their spouses. At its height there were well over a dozen people at the gatherings. To say the restaurants made a lot of money that day is an understatement.

 I shouldn't complain about the food too much. We once went to a place that had been open since 1686 and it was pretty good. The place was conveniently named "The 1686 House" and it's located in historic Kingston, New Hampshire. It's a typical surf and turf place and naturally I enjoyed it immensely. I haven't been there in ages and I'm glad that it's still open. I think if the quality of the food remains constantly good, a place should remain open to the public. If a place goes downhill thanks to a new chef, the food will of course suffer.

    After we had dinner, we would go to one of the cousins' houses for dessert or one of the sisters' houses and it was usually there that I got an earful of family history facts and figures. Normally this was because those restaurants were noisy and since I have hearing aids I wasn't able to hear what my dad and his cousins were talking about at the table. Once we got out of there I was able to hear myself think and that allowed me to interact with the cousins more.

    If we went to my great-aunt Louise's house in Haverhill, I got to see plenty of pictures of my great-grandparents Giuseppe and Clementina and thus asked questions about them and their siblings. Without the noise of the restaurants, I got to hear everyone better and was able take in the information I was told a lot more easily. Pro tip: Never ask for family history stuff in a crowded restaurant on Mother's Day!

    The desserts were always good, too. My great-aunts all made cookies and all kinds of goodies. So, I got to listen to some fun stories while eating Italian desserts in relative peace and quiet. You honestly can't beat that.

     I will admit going to those places now would probably make me miss my grandmother and her sisters more than the places we went for "Cousins Day"  because they were often hilarious. For example, Louise would take rolls from the table and put them in her oversized purse along with pads of butter. Why? Why not! "It's free bread!",  she would say. My grandmother, naturally, helped her pack the bread and kept an eye out for any wait staff that might be watching them. Just picture four little old Italian ladies in a classy joint and you'd get my grandma and her sisters. There was never a dull moment with that crew!

    Over time, the sisters passed away and my dad's cousins all agreed that everyone should still visit each other even though the mothers were all no longer around. It was a great idea and we would still go out to dinner at random places and usually they were at more local than the places we went with the little old Italian ladies.

Cousin Carol

    The evolution of Mother's Day meals to "Cousins Day" was pretty seamless and a natural progression since my dad and his maternal cousins were all close.  At the end of the meals we ended up going to his cousin Carol's house in Nashua and be treated to desserts she and her daughter made. Going to Carol's house was pretty fun as I got to talk to second cousins I didn't see too often. Plus, I got a chance to enjoy some of my great-aunt Josie's recipes that had been passed down to her.

       Carol was the oldest of the cousins and so she had a lot of photos to share along with the recipes. On one of the "Cousins Days", I told her I was working on the family tree. She smiled and dumped a shoebox full of pictures on me. Literally. One of the photos fluttered in my lap and it was a picture of Giuseppe, Clementina and all of the sisters looking like they were waiting for the bus or something.

    That was pretty cool, I'll admit. Naturally, I took a pic of the picture before we left. Why not? 

    These days Cousins Day has been more about the cousins visiting each other. We would still go out to dinner at a random restaurant and while we would still have a great time, I again found myself remembering the Mothers' Day meals of years past. I can't help it! My grandmother and her sisters were just too funny and they often had everyone at the table laughing. Just try to picture them as like the "Golden Girls" but all of them were Sophia. That was pretty much them in a nutshell!

    My father and his cousins all worked to keep the tradition going because it was very important to them. They grew up together in Haverhill and naturally it made sense for all of the cousins to get together every once in a while. I would love to do that with my own cousins, honestly. But, it depends on time and all of that. Perhaps one day we will have our own "Cousins Day". It wouldn't be a bad thing! The Mothers Day/Cousins Day parties were always a great time to learn family history and hear stories of years gone by and it's great that the tradition still continues. Who knows what shape it may take in the future. Perhaps I will make a similar tradition with my cousins. Time will tell.

See ya next time!