52 Ancestors Week 21: An Unexpected Strength

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 21:

The theme for Week 21 is “An Unexpected Strength.” Strength comes in many forms. Who is someone in your family tree who was strong, even though the deck was stacked against them?

When an ancestor puts all their stats in strength....

    It goes without saying that the ladies in my family have been pretty darn strong. They kind of have to be if they're going to deal with the men in their lives and societal expectations of the era in which they lived in.  Of course I'm not just talking about my grandmother Ollie and every other nonna in my tree. They're pretty strong and will let everyone know that they are tough. They're the ones who really maxed out their stats in strength. See this blog from 2023 for details on my grandma Ollie here.

    This isn't to say that there aren't strong women on my mom's side. There's plenty of them to go around. Last week I talked a little about Gertrude Stevens and her life. She seemed to be pretty strong and I think she had to be given all the drama she had to deal with in her life. And speaking of drama there was no shortage of it in Lucie Cadran's life. I wrote about here back in 2021. After the death of her husband Antoine in 1901 she handled her many children very well and they all had exceptional lives. 

    Since strong women come in threes (or more depending on the family tree), let's talk about my great-grandmother Maria Tedesco and see how she stacks up to the greats in the tree.  I think it's fair to say that she was pretty tough and by the end of this week's blog you'll see just how strong she really was. Trust me. She put all her stats in strength given all the things she went through.

    Maria was born in San Pietro a Maida in 1901 to Antonio Tedesco and Domenica Gullo and by the January of 1921 she was married to Vincenzo Ferraiolo, son of Marco Ferraiolo and Caterina Coppola. My great-aunt Nicolina always told me that she was a force to be reckoned with. While she was beautiful she went against the standards of her day in many ways.

    Case in point. By 1929 Maria already had two very young children. My grandfather Marco and of course Nicolina. Her husband had left San Pietro and went to America leaving her with their young children.

       Eventually, Vincenzo sent for his family to join him in America and so Maria had to sail across the cold Atlantic with just the kids. From October 30th to November 6th they sailed hoping to reach Vincenzo and a new life in America. Think about what this entailed. The kids had no screens or toys to entertain themselves and since they were leaving from a very poor locale all the three of them had were literally just the clothes on their backs. She was a lady in her late 20s taking care of two very rambunctious toddlers as they sailed across the ocean!

   When the three of them arrived in New York, I'm not sure Vincenzo was there to greet them. In fact, I'm not 100% sure how she made it to Haverhill. All I know is that she was supposed to eventually go to Giovanni Coppola's house on Bedford Street in Haverhill. Giovanni was her husband's first cousin once removed and was a big deal in the Italian community there since he ran a grocery store and everything.

    My father believed that she likely took a train from New York to Haverhill and of course that meant more traveling alone with the kids. Chances are by the time the three of them actually got to Haverhill they had their stories to tell. Think about all the people they saw at the ports in Palermo where they sailed from and in New York when they arrived. There had to have been a sharp contrast in those days and since it was late 1929 they likely saw very anxious stock brokers walking around. I bet they were booking their first tickets out of New York after the market crashed! I'm just saying,...

    After they settled in Haverhill, Maria didn't just raise the children like a good early 20th century housewife. She evidentially taught herself enough English to get by and watched her children while Vincenzo was away for work. Vincenzo worked as a laborer and sometimes the jobs he had to do took him away from home for a few days. 

    Maria likely felt a little homesick every now and then since she was very far from her parents in San Pietro. They likely corresponded via letters. However, I think being close to her Tedesco cousins in Woburn, Mass may have eased the homesickness quite a bit. Plus Marco and Nickie got to interact with their cousins as well as their cousins in Haverhill. I call that a win. It might have definitely eased the loneliness she felt while Vincenzo was away.

    To say Maria was strong is a bit of an understatement. It took an unbelievable amount of strength to leave her home and everyone she knew in San Pietro, sail across the ocean with two toddlers and then live in a strange place where she didn't know the language. Adding onto that the fact that Vincenzo often went away for work so she had to count on her friends and neighbors nearby for help.  Sometimes it takes a village and judging by her funeral guest list she had a lot of friends who cared about her.

    She sadly passed away in 1943 and there's no doubt in my mind that she had a lasting impression on all of the people she left behind. My grandfather Marco made it a point to still keep in touch with the cousins in Woburn for decades after Maria passed away. My great-aunt had many fond memories of her and was more than a little annoyed at her father since he married another woman very shortly after her mother's death.  Sadly, my father missed out on knowing his grandmother and thankfully everyone around him told her how strong she was and everything just like how everyone around me told me all about Marco. Sometimes history repeats itself. All you can do is remember the strong people in your life and take those lessons to heart as you go through life youself. Still, I can't help but wonder how they handled that trip without screens or any diversion. It's fun to think about.

See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 20: At the Cemetery

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 20:

The theme for Week 20 is “At the Cemetery.” I was already fascinated with cemeteries when I became a genealogist. There’s something special about seeing a tangible remembrance of an ancestor. Which ancestor is buried in a favorite cemetery or has an interesting tombstone? Whose grave would you like to visit? 

Any second now a Michael Jackson video is going to start.
Or a Tim Burton movie.

    My cousin Bob put it best. "Gotta love cemeteries. Everyone's dying to get in".  I'm pretty sure I've said that in the blog before and that dad joke never gets old. I've written about many cemeteries in this blog over the years. Well, mostly Saint Patrick's Cemetery in Haverhill. There's a very good reason for that. It's the de facto Italian cemetery in the city and because of that several of my ancestors and their relatives were buried there. I've even written about the Cimitero Comunale in San Pietro a Maida where my 2nd great-grandparents Marco Ferraiolo, Caterina Coppola, Antonio Tedesco and Domenica Gullo were laid to rest.

     If I ever go to Gesualdo, I would love to see the final resting places for my Italian 2nd great-grandparents on my dad's maternal side while they still existed. Long story short. Italian cemeteries recycle plots after so many years. So, chances are if you want to go to an Italian cemetery the memorial may or may not be there.

    Everyone on my mother's side of the tree is scattered in cemeteries around the Merrimack Valley and beyond. Most of them are in Haverhill or Amesbury cemeteries and there's one stone I'd like to try and find. I would like to find the final resting place of Antoine Legault, my second great-grandfather. We know he was buried in Saint James Cemetery in Haverhill we just don't know where. It's a big place and I have a sinking feeling that he might be in an unmarked grave. It's not an unfair assessment. Saint James is probably the biggest cemetery in the city and his stone would be very old since he passed away in 1901.

    That being said, I still would like to find his stone and visit a few people's markers on my mom's side of the tree.

Gertrude and the Senters!

    The first grave I'd love to visit and pay my respects to is the final resting place of Gertrude Stevens, my 2nd great-grandmother. Gertrude doesn't really have a stone. It's a memorial marker set in the ground at Pine Grove Cemetery in Farmington, New Hampshire.

    I was very thankful to the person on Find a Grave who found that stone. From what I can tell on Google Earth the cemetery is a good size cemetery and finding her marker by myself would have been a challenge. Thankfully, someone found it, took a picture and put down the exact coordinates for where to find it. Ahh, isn't modern technology wonderful? 

    Unfortunately, it looks like her marker is in the back of the cemetery. Getting there might be a bit of a trek. I think it'd be worth the trip. I would just need to find a day that I can get there..

        

    I know Gertrude's stone isn't all that remarkable. I still would like to visit it given all the craziness she went through in her life. Her and Wilfred Felker's divorce was not an amicable split and she ended up moving to Farmington  to be with her second husband. She had to deal with so much and I kind of want to tell her that everything turned out well in the end. Her son Austin grew up and wasn't a jerk like his father.

    Despite being an hour away from her son, I'm pretty sure they kept in regular contact. My mother grew up knowing the Senters and a few of them were even at my parents' wedding. So, yeah. I think he was close with his half-siblings.

    Back on topic. As you can see the stone isn't as crazy as other stones I've seen. Perhaps one day I'll talk about my 4th great-grandmother Maxime Lepine's cube shaped stone in Newburyport's Saint Mary's Cemetery. That stone has a story and as soon as I find out more about it, I'll share it's tale. For now, I am content with my desire to visit Getrude's stone.

    I wanted to visit it when I heard that people vandalized her cemetery and overturned some stones.  (Some people are so getting haunted if they haven't already) When I heard more about her story, I wanted to visit it even more. Now it's just a matter of finding the time to get up to Farmington and find her grave. I have the location and the means. The trick, naturally, is finding the time to go!

    I like cemeteries fine and I know some people are creeped out by them. It makes sense. You never know when one of them will be haunted by vengeful spirits or something. It's safe to say that some cemeteries probably aren't haunted like Saint Patrick's. If there was, you'd hear an Italian ghost asking you why you don't call any more and then feel your cheeks getting pinched by an ethereal hand.

    As  for Gertrude, I think I would like to visit her stone the most aside from the Italian stones in San Pietro. Those would be number two on my list of cemeteries to visit. I just feel like going up there and pay my respects. I just hope I don't get lost in there. From the air it looks like Farmington cemetery is a maze! Good luck to all who enter there. Just remember that you ain't afraid of no ghosts!

See ya next time!

52 Ancestors Week 19: A Question the Records Can't Answer

From Amy Johnson Crow: The theme for Week 19 is “A Question the Records Can’t Answer.” Outside of letters and diaries, most of the records we use in genealogy don’t tell us the “why” and “how” of our ancestors’ lives. We can read the records of what happened, but how did our ancestors feel? What was it like? This week, think about a question that goes beyond the names and dates. What would you ask that ancestor? 

Riddle me this, Batman....

    I think we can all agree that documents can only tell researchers so much about an ancestor. Birth records can only tell you who the parents were and where someone was born. Unless you lucked out and have Italian ancestors like I do and they'll give you the birth records. baptismal records and sometimes even the marriage record depending on the era someone was born. Italian records can sometimes be considered one-stop shopping in many cases. Sometimes grandparents are listed! All that's missing at that point is the father's favorite brand of vino.  Even Italian records don't tell you everything about someone. It sure would be nice if they did. However, you have to make do with what you can find. 

   There are so many questions I would ask various ancestors that records would never be able to answer. If I could, I'd talk to my grandfather Marco about everything he missed since he passed away in 1983. I'd ask my third great-grandfather Jeremiah Felker why his grandfather was listed on his death certificate instead of his father Elias. The list goes on and on. Since I've been trying to break down the Coppola brick walls I think it'd be a good idea to talk to my second great-grandmother Caterina Coppola and ask her a few simple questions.

Marco, Caterina and
Adriana

    While records in San Pietro a Maida would definitely have her vital statistics like her birth, marriage and death records. Those records wouldn't necessarily answer where the Coppolas came from. I know for a fact that no Coppola was born in San Pietro a Maida until 1860 when Caterina's cousin Francesco was born. There are no other Coppolas in San Pietro prior to that date so they all had to have come from somewhere in Italy.

    Records naturally may provide clues as to where the family came from but they wouldn't necessarily tell me why her father Paolo, her uncle Giovanni and her aunt Caterina left that town for San Pietro a Maida.  I'm sure it'd be an interesting story because three siblings just don't breeze into town, marry three locals and have families with them. Life isn't a Hallmark movie!

    I would definitely ask her about that and of course I'd have to have the universal translator on. Never go to another country without it. I would totally have to break the language barrier when talking to a few ancestors of mine. I'm not THAT fluent in Italian, you know!

        I think that would be a good start to my conversation with Caterina. I would totally rip the band-aid off and get to the point. Still, there are some other pointed questions I'd ask her. For example, I'd ask her how it felt to have several members of her family scattered around the globe. She would definitely have a lot to say about that, I'm sure. The family was everywhere and while my great-grandfather would write to his mother from time to time, I'm sure she thought about everyone quite often.

Vincenzo in black and white.

    Just to recap. Caterina's siblings Paolo and Concetta were in Haverhill with their families. Her cousins Giovanni, Marianna and Rosa Maria were there too along with her son Vincenzo and her grandchildren Marco and Nicolina. Her daughter Caterina moved to Buenos Aires with her husband and everyone else was in Italy.

    To say that's a big family is a bit of an understatement. Records can tell me where they lived and when they left. But they can't very well tell me how she and her husband Marco felt about having her family spread out like that. Somehow I don't think that'd be mentioned on their passports. 

    Little things like that can definitely add to a family's story and make them seem more real. Plus, you can bet that they'd have more color to the story than some random fact you find online. As a writer, I always want to try to fill the narrative with interesting bits of information. It's questions like these that add a human element to the family story.

    Finally, I think I would ask her more about Nicola and what he was like.  Nicola was a child of Marco and Caterina's who tragically died trying to save Caterina's boyfriend who was drowning. I'm not sure if it'd be a sore subject. I would have to tread lightly with that question. While San Pietro can certainly tell me when he was born and when he died, I don't think the records could tell me what possessed him to dive into currents like that and face certain death. He was pretty heroic. There's no denying that. There just has to be more to the story than what a cousin told me. Sure my great-aunt was named after him. There just has to be more  to the story like I said.

    Records always tell you one thing but a relative can often tell you more about their story. You'll never hear the context behind someone's trip to America by looking at a ship manifest. Oh, sure you can guess all you want. You could even imagine what the journey must have been like. In the end, hearing a story from someone's own words would mean more than any document you might have in your archive. That's why it's important to talk to the oldest generation you can because they can tell you stories that vital statistics and scans can't!

    I'm lucky that Caterina told me a lot about her grandmother. She's told me a lot about my second great-grandmother and I wonder if she has some of the answers to the questions I've asked. You never know....

See ya next time!