52 Ancestors Week 21: An Unexpected Strength

 From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 21:

The theme for Week 21 is “An Unexpected Strength.” Strength comes in many forms. Who is someone in your family tree who was strong, even though the deck was stacked against them?

When an ancestor puts all their stats in strength....

    It goes without saying that the ladies in my family have been pretty darn strong. They kind of have to be if they're going to deal with the men in their lives and societal expectations of the era in which they lived in.  Of course I'm not just talking about my grandmother Ollie and every other nonna in my tree. They're pretty strong and will let everyone know that they are tough. They're the ones who really maxed out their stats in strength. See this blog from 2023 for details on my grandma Ollie here.

    This isn't to say that there aren't strong women on my mom's side. There's plenty of them to go around. Last week I talked a little about Gertrude Stevens and her life. She seemed to be pretty strong and I think she had to be given all the drama she had to deal with in her life. And speaking of drama there was no shortage of it in Lucie Cadran's life. I wrote about here back in 2021. After the death of her husband Antoine in 1901 she handled her many children very well and they all had exceptional lives. 

    Since strong women come in threes (or more depending on the family tree), let's talk about my great-grandmother Maria Tedesco and see how she stacks up to the greats in the tree.  I think it's fair to say that she was pretty tough and by the end of this week's blog you'll see just how strong she really was. Trust me. She put all her stats in strength given all the things she went through.

    Maria was born in San Pietro a Maida in 1901 o Antonio Tedesco and Domenica Gullo and by the January of 1921 she was married to Vincenzo Ferraiolo, son of Marco Ferraiolo and Caterina Coppola. My great-aunt Nicolina always told me that she was a force to be reckoned with. While she was beautiful she went against the standards of her day in many ways.

    Case in point. By 1929 Maria already had two very young children. My grandfather Marco and of course Nicolina. Her husband had left San Pietro and went to America leaving her with their young children.

       Eventually, Vincenzo sent for his family to join him in America and so Maria had to sail across the cold Atlantic with just the kids. From October 30th to November 6th they sailed hoping to reach Vincenzo and a new life in America. Think about what this entailed. The kids had no screens or toys to entertain themselves and since they were leaving from a very poor locale all the three of them had were literally just the clothes on their backs. She was a lady in her late 20s taking care of two very rambunctious toddlers as they sailed across the ocean!

   When the three of them arrived in New York, I'm not sure Vincenzo was there to greet them. In fact, I'm not 100% sure how she made it to Haverhill. All I know is that she was supposed to eventually go to Giovanni Coppola's house on Bedford Street in Haverhill. Giovanni was her husband's first cousin once removed and was a big deal in the Italian community there since he ran a grocery store and everything.

    My father believed that she likely took a train from New York to Haverhill and of course that meant more traveling alone with the kids. Chances are by the time the three of them actually got to Haverhill they had their stories to tell. Think about all the people they saw at the ports in Palermo where they sailed from and in New York when they arrived. There had to have been a sharp contrast in those days and since it was late 1929 they likely saw very anxious stock brokers walking around. I bet they were booking their first tickets out of New York after the market crashed! I'm just saying,...

    After they settled in Haverhill, Maria didn't just raise the children like a good early 20th century housewife. She evidentially taught herself enough English to get by and watched her children while Vincenzo was away for work. Vincenzo worked as a laborer and sometimes the jobs he had to do took him away from home for a few days. 

    Maria likely felt a little homesick every now and then since she was very far from her parents in San Pietro. They likely corresponded via letters. However, I think being close to her Tedesco cousins in Woburn, Mass may have eased the homesickness quite a bit. Plus Marco and Nickie got to interact with their cousins as well as their cousins in Haverhill. I call that a win. It might have definitely eased the loneliness she felt while Vincenzo was away.

    To say Maria was strong is a bit of an understatement. It took an unbelievable amount of strength to leave her home and everyone she knew in San Pietro, sail across the ocean with two toddlers and then live in a strange place where she didn't know the language. Adding onto that the fact that Vincenzo often went away for work so she had to count on her friends and neighbors nearby for help.  Sometimes it takes a village and judging by her funeral guest list she had a lot of friends who cared about her.

    She sadly passed away in 1943 and there's no doubt in my mind that she had a lasting impression on all of the people she left behind. My grandfather Marco made it a point to still keep in touch with the cousins in Woburn for decades after Maria passed away. My great-aunt had many fond memories of her and was more than a little annoyed at her father since he married another woman very shortly after her mother's death.  Sadly, my father missed out on knowing his grandmother and thankfully everyone around him told her how strong she was and everything just like how everyone around me told me all about Marco. Sometimes history repeats itself. All you can do is remember the strong people in your life and take those lessons to heart as you go through life. Still, I can't help but wonder how they handled that trip without screens or any diversion. It's fun to think about.

See ya next time!