52 Ancestors Week 34: Long-Lasting

From Amy Johnson Crow: Week 34:

The theme for Week 34 is “Long-lasting.” It could be a marriage, a career, a document, an heirloom – feel free to be creative with the theme!

Fully charged and ready for a trip!

    When I look around my house, I see a lot of items that have been around a long time or have been passed down to us by a family member or a family friend. These items range from simple things like a coffee table or a candle stick. Some items are so old that they might as well be considered heirlooms at this point. I don't know if having a launch era Sega Genesis could be considered "long-lasting" if I don't even know if it would work on a modern television. I'm not about to experiment on it!! Personal items side, I do know some people who have had long-lasting marriages. 

    I've already discussed my grandparents Bob and Natalie Hamel's 50th wedding anniversary in this blog from 2023. I've talked about my great-grandparents Austin and Henrietta's 50th wedding anniversary in 2024.  What do you say we go a little closer to home this week? My parents' wedding anniversary is coming up in a few days at the time of this blog's posting. So, let's talk about my parents' long-lasting marriage as they celebrate their fifty-fifth year of marriage.

    Being married to someone for over fifty years is no small feat and yet my parents Dr. James Ferraiolo and Diane Hamel made it work. They were married on August 28th, 1971 and by some amazing cosmic coincidence that was also my dad's great-grandmother Caterina Coppola's birthday. Did they know? Probably not. Then again I bet my grandfather Marco had a good chuckle when he saw the date on the invitation. He knew. He had to have known.

    To make a long story short, their wedding was held in Newburyport, Mass and the reception was held in Haverhill. All four grandparents made sure everyone was there from both sides of the family. I don't mean just a few people. EVERYONE!  To list them all would take forever and a day and yes I have that list on a spreadsheet somewhere just in case I need to tell a DNA match  their ancestor was at my parents' wedding. That HAS happened. I'm surprised it doesn't freak them out.

    I think I've discussed their wedding before. For the new readers out there:  I'm connected to almost everyone who attended their wedding via blood or marriage. My grandparents made a concerted effort to include everyone they could. Some people could make it and some couldn't. It is honestly very cool that I'm connected to a lot of people who were there or were invited and couldn't make it. Life happens and you just deal with it.

    My brother Jim was born the same year the house I grew up in was built and I was born two years later.  The rest of the story pretty much writes itself. However, the question is what is the secret to a long-lasting marriage like theirs? That's something a lot of people have asked them.

Don't let those innocent looks fool you.

    There has been much debate over what the secret to a long-lasting marriage is and their consensus has always been: communication and shared values. That makes sense. When I was little they always talked out whatever problem they were having and whenever my brother and I would have a problem, we'd talk things out. It was nothing like one of those '80s family sitcoms we saw on television or anything. We'd just discuss things and share our opinions.

    Of course the shenanigans my brother and I got into during that time probably didn't help matters. We were good kids! HONEST!

    In the end, I think that's all you really need for a successful marriage. If you communicate with your significant other what your problems are or any issue you have, then you can get anything accomplished. Failure to talk can lead to problems down the road. As for shared values? I think that goes without saying. If someone likes "X" and your significant other likes "y", there's going to be a problem if "x" and "y" are completely different from each other!

Happy 50th!! Put your masks on.....

    My parents had their 50th wedding anniversary during the height of Covid in 2021. It wasn't as glamourous as their wedding but we still had a great time at Tuscan Kitchen in Salem. My parents reminisced about their wedding, talked about old friends and even gave my brother and his wife some sage advice about long-lasting marriages. That was cool of them.

    Their fiftieth was still fine like I said. Was it ideal? No. Not at all. We still made the most of it and went home with plenty of leftovers. It's an Italian restaurant. You're going to leave with leftovers whether you like it or not!

    
    Next Friday will be their 55th anniversary and I know for a fact we're likely going to go out to one of my parents' favorite restaurants. My parents' advice for a long-lasting marriage is very sound. It's worked this long and there hasn't been any complaints. So, to my parents I say Happy 55th Anniversary! Here's to many more!! 'Nuff said!

See ya next time!